MENTAL health support for young people should be brought up to date to cope with the digital age, according to a mother whose daughter took her own life as a result of an abusive relationship.
Relentless text messaging was a feature of the bullying campaign by her boyfriend which preceded the death of Emily Drouet, at Aberdeen University.
Former public schoolboy Angus Milligan admitted to assaulting the 18 year-old, threatening her and abusing her, including sending offensive, indecent, obscene and menacing text messages.
Fiona Drouet says the legal treatment of her daughter’s tormentor is a reflection of the fact that the impact of abuse on someone’s mental health is not taken seriously enough – although she welcomes changes to laws on domestic violence which have criminalised controlling and coercive behaviour.
But she is now calling for better support from schools and universities for young people at risk. Emily had no history of mental health problems, but Mrs Drouet believes chances were missed by university staff to intervene.
“We have had meetings with Universities Scotland to discuss the fact that front-facing staff have no training,” she said. “Universities are dragging their heels in accepting students can be vulnerable and they are responsible. Mental health is always bottom of the agenda, especially in universities.”
Today, Mrs Drouet will join a group of people supported by Samaritans Scotland who are presenting a report to the Scottish Government, as it prepares an update of its suicide prevention strategy.
She welcomes the calls for change in the report and says there should be more recognition of the fact that students are often living away from home for the first time, and can be vulnerable to sexual violence, drink and drugs, as well as the pressures of study.
“We need to take action to minimise that vulnerability. Young people are facing bullying and abuse online, and text mesasges bombarding them. This is intense, you can’t escape from it. For Emily, it was relentless, he wouldn’t give her a break. It escalated so quickly and she was in denial about it, trying to pacify him.”
But, along with the charity, she is calling for support to be more widely available for all those facing challenging periods in their life.
“Suicide affects a large number of middle aged men. We need to recognise the effect of life-changing events like domestic abuse, family breakdown, losing your job. It is compulsory to have first aid in the workplace, but what about mental health first aid? Just because there is no blood, doesn’t mean there isn’t a problem that needs to be fixed,” she says. “We need to make sure places like schools and workplaces are adequately equipped to deal with that.”
The report which will be presented to mental health minister Maureen Watts today includes calls for more support for families affected by suicide.
Mrs Drouet says she could only find the help she needed from online groups of parents who had been through similar experiences. “A death from suicide leaves the people behind with such complex grief. You wonder could you have have done more, could it have been prevented? I questioned every decision I ever made in my daughter’s life, like should I have let her go to university at all?”
Her main concern is over the lack of accessible support for those who need it. One problem highlighted in the report is the time-limited nature of many interventions. “A friend of Emily’s who had suffered three recent bereavements at another university was given counselling and told she would get four sessions,” Mrs Drouet adds.
“What they should be saying is ‘I’m in this with you, I’m going to help you through this process, you are not going to be alone. Not starting by telling people the limitations of the care, so they are pressurised to get better within a specified time scale.”
Families who have contributed to the Samaritans report are all looking for change, she says. “As long as there is one suicide, there’s a need for this report. We need to give people like Emily a second chance at life. We need to tell people ‘you may go through times like that in your life where it feels unbearable, but there are ways to escape that torment in your mind.
“I know Emily didn’t want this to happen, and wouldn’t want what’s been left behind for us. The only answer is talking about it.”
Why are you making commenting on The Herald only available to subscribers?
It should have been a safe space for informed debate, somewhere for readers to discuss issues around the biggest stories of the day, but all too often the below the line comments on most websites have become bogged down by off-topic discussions and abuse.
heraldscotland.com is tackling this problem by allowing only subscribers to comment.
We are doing this to improve the experience for our loyal readers and we believe it will reduce the ability of trolls and troublemakers, who occasionally find their way onto our site, to abuse our journalists and readers. We also hope it will help the comments section fulfil its promise as a part of Scotland's conversation with itself.
We are lucky at The Herald. We are read by an informed, educated readership who can add their knowledge and insights to our stories.
That is invaluable.
We are making the subscriber-only change to support our valued readers, who tell us they don't want the site cluttered up with irrelevant comments, untruths and abuse.
In the past, the journalist’s job was to collect and distribute information to the audience. Technology means that readers can shape a discussion. We look forward to hearing from you on heraldscotland.com
Comments & Moderation
Readers’ comments: You are personally liable for the content of any comments you upload to this website, so please act responsibly. We do not pre-moderate or monitor readers’ comments appearing on our websites, but we do post-moderate in response to complaints we receive or otherwise when a potential problem comes to our attention. You can make a complaint by using the ‘report this post’ link . We may then apply our discretion under the user terms to amend or delete comments.
Post moderation is undertaken full-time 9am-6pm on weekdays, and on a part-time basis outwith those hours.
Read the rules here