SPEAKER John Bercow gave SNP MP Tommy Sheppard the full schmooze when he hit 60 on Wednesday, urging the whole House to congratulate him on his birthday. “I cannot believe that he is the age that I have been advised he is, but I suppose all things are possible. He seems in very good nick to me.” At which Kilmarnock MP Alan Brown, Mr Sheppard’s less than diplomatic neighbour on the SNP benches, chipped in: “No fae this position.”
MR Bercow was less flattering after PMQs as Nats raged at Theresa May claiming they had no mandate for independence. Reluctantly he took a point of order from Angus Brendan Macneil. “It’s a matter of fact, it’s matter of truth, that the Prime Minister, what she said, is not the situation in Scotland,” burbled the Western Isles MP. “The Prime Minister said there was not a mandate. There is a mandate for independence.That’s the fact!” Mr Bercow paused. “I’m not sure that greatly added to the intellectual quality of the exchanges,” he sighed.
EQUALLY waspish was SNP Brexit Secretary Mike Russell as he noised up Tory MSPs for slavishly backing Theresa May’s Brexit deal. “We now know that the Scottish Conservatives will be fighting the next election under the slogan ‘Obey Mrs May’,” he sneered. “I look forward to seeing that slogan on endless posters, perhaps with a picture of a Dalek.” Miaow.
WE all know Jeremy Corbyn hates the media, but did Scottish Labour have to make it quite so obvious at this weekend’s conference in Dundee? The party scheduled both JC’s big speech and a juicy fringe meeting at the very end of Friday, making it impossible for thirsty hacks to write them up and then make it to the “media reception” at 6.30pm. Charming.
ALMOST as unimpressive was one of the lines in the conference handbook about the party’s finances. It showed they spent £1594 on fundraising in 2018, generating a princely £1405, or £189 less than the outlay. They want to run the country, you know.
ONE of the big surprises at Labour conference is tonight’s ‘Love Socialism, Hate Brexit’ fringe, the surprise being for the Scottish Greens. Party HQ was stunned to hear their co-convener Maggie Chapman was taking part. “It’s bizarre that she would go to Dundee to promote Labour’s pro-Brexit stance, which is at odds with Green policy,” fumes our eco-mole. “Perhaps she’ll pick up a membership form while she’s there.”
FOREIGN Secretary Jeremy Hunt made the headlines this week slagging Alex Salmond’s Russian TV show. But what of the great Muscovite himself? Unspun hears a group of business people were recently out for lunch in Aberdeen when Eck made eye contact and invited himself over to their table, sat down and started sampling their grub, not unlike the city’s seagulls. Such is the random life of a former FM.
INVERCLYDE Nat Stuart McMillan is urging colleagues to support a local scheme turning recycled bottles into poo bag dispensers. Or as the begging email from his office to MSPs unfortunately put it:. “Stuart would appreciate your support for the following motion.” Gross.
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