IT was International Happiness Day. But no one was smiling.
The Brexit torture chamber was packed for PMQs as the ghouls and gargoyles of the Commons snarled and gurned away at each other.
After the calm of some collegiate sympathy over the terrible tragedies of Christchurch, Utrecht and Cyclone Idai, came the storm of more Brexit fury.
First up was the shrinking Nationalist violet Pete Wishart, who rolled up his metaphorical sleeves and laid into the political punch-bag that the PM has become.
Every emphasised word was a blow: “tatters”; “revolt”; “crisis”; “disaster”. And Perth’s champion ended his up-duffing with the declaration: “Weak, weak, weak.”
The PM skilfully defused the moment by ignoring it and giving MPs an update on that fraught issue of extension.
Next up was Jezza, who fired off his own battery of condemnation, accusing the head girl of plunging the country into a “full-scale national crisis” and decrying her incompetence, failure and intransigence.
The chief comrade unhelpfully pointed out to Thezza that her deputy, David Lidington – not spotted on the frontbench – had only days ago warned a short extension to Brexit without a deal would, er, be “downright reckless”.
Thezza again niftily avoided the barb and declared she was opposed to a longer delay.
But then she lifted the roof when she suggested the fault for the Brexit mess lay not with her but with - Parliament.
“The outcome of a long extension would be the House spending yet more endless hours contemplating its navel on Europe and failing to address the issues that matter to our constituents, such as schools, hospitals, security and jobs. The House has indulged itself on Europe for too long…”
Maggie May did not get to finish the sentence as the opposition backbenches erupted with cries of “resign” and MPs jabbing their fingers angrily in her direction.
While Jezza tried to denounce the PM for her remarks about MPs’ indulgence, it was post-PMQs in a remarkable contribution from a Tory "friend" that landed the biggest blow on Thezza’s chin.
Up popped the urbane and thoughtful Tory backbencher, Dominic Grieve.
The former Attorney General let rip, describing the PM’s performance as the “worst moment I have experienced since I came into the Commons; I have never felt more ashamed to be a member of the Conservative Party or to be asked to lend her support”.
Denouncing the PM for castigating MPs for their “misconduct,” he added: “I could have wept…to see her reduced to these straits…simply zig-zagging all over the place rather than standing up for the national interest”.
If the vote goes a certain way next week, Mr G will not be the only one crying all the way to the cliff-edge - and beyond.
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