Sketch: the Johnson circus rolls into town with Boris as the high wire act

Business Questions was never so packed as the Moggster took to the dispatch box wearing his new top hat as Commons Leader. It wasn’t so much a baptism of fire but a genial hot bath with Smithers on hand to offer a soothing double whisky served on a silver platter.

Before his lordship had chance to reply to his first question, a socialist scamp shouted: “Resign!” The Moggster looked shocked. “It’s a bit early.”

The SNP’s Pete Wishart could not resist trying to prick what he saw as the Leader’s bubble of privileged pomposity, gently reminding him he was addressing the House of Commons not the House of Tudor.

“I would point out,” the Moggster huffed to the Nationalist rapscalian, “the House of Commons predates the House of Tudor; it started in 1265 and the House of Tudor obviously began with Henry VII.”

The Perth champion told MPs he had had a horrible nightmare the night before; that the UK Government had been taken over by “rabid, right-wing Brexiteers”. He was not sure if he had woken up.

Decrying what he termed the “buffoons’ Brexit,” Mr W quipped: “May we have a debate about dystopian visions of hell and have a look at where this Cabinet of dysfunctional Bash Street Kids fits in.”

During his debut, Lord S expressed his admiration for the late Pope Pius IX, referenced the Long Parliament of the 1640s, and asked: “Was it not Disraeli who said that London taxis were the ‘gondolas of London’? I share that view.” Indeed it was.

Then, it was the turn of the high wire act himself, who rose to a chorus of hoots of support.

Bozza decided to miss out gears one, two, three and four and jam the gear-stick into fifth, flaling his arms and jabbing his finger at the horrible Marxist horde in front of him, branding them “sceptics and doubters”.

“Our mission is to deliver Brexit on October 31 for the purpose of uniting and re-energising our great United Kingdom and making this country the greatest place on earth,” he snapped to cheers.

Jezza noted how the US President had described the PM as “Britain Trump” and insisted Britain did “not need arm-waving bluster” but competence and seriousness; which had the Tory berserkers holding their stomachs in laughter.

When Bozza rattled off figures that showed unemployment was down, crime was down and investment was up, Labour’s John McDonnell, leaning forward on the Opposition front bench, could barely contain himself, earning a reproof from the Speaker who described the Shadow Chancellor as a “reckless delinquent”.

The PM’s digital bullets took aim at Mr McDonnell as he declared: “He was sacked by Ken Livingstone for being too left wing. Quite rightly, he was sacked for fabricating a budget.”

The temperature might have been 37 degrees outside, it was getting pretty hot inside too.

After another irate comrade was ticked off by the Speaker, Bozza resumed speed-talking so quickly that at times he was incomprehensible; the prime ministerial mouth couldn’t catch up with the prime ministerial brain.

The can-do spirit would sort out Brexit and propel Britain into a “golden age,” boomed Boris. The Brexiteer faces were beaming as the PM’s windbaggery confirmed the Maybot shackles had finally been removed.

The SNP’s Ian Blackford began his contribution with a quip, describing Mr J as the “last Prime Minister of the United Kingdom” and insisted: “Scotland will not stand by and let decisions be taken by charlatans on our behalf.”

The big B derided the Highlander for his “defeatism and pessimism about our wonderful United Kingdom” and suggested if the Tory Government could deliver a “fantastic, sensible and progressive Brexit,” they would see off the nasty Nationalists.

Meanwhile, the chief comrade confronted by the confusing maelstrom that is Bozza concluded: “The country is deeply worried the new Prime Minister overestimates himself.”

Impossible, of course; the new PM, who as a child wanted to be “world king”, could never ever overestimate himself.