I’M partial to a cheeky wee bag of Revels, especially on a train or a bus.

Like life, you never really know what you’re going to get next. The shapes should give you a clue but when you put your hand in and shovel about 8 at a time in your mouth at once then it’s hard to tell.

You get orange, toffee, and a bit of raisin all at one time, and the overwhelming taste of chocolate in a oner. And then you’re sick.

I only mention this because the Chief Medical Officer for England wants to ban them on all public transport to beat the obesity epidemic. Quavers too. And even the humble bag of hula hoops.

It must be quite fun to be a public health official as they seem to be the only group of people guaranteed to have a laugh every time they go to work.

I imagine them sitting round a table in hysterics as they concoct a silly plan for a laugh to ease the nation’s chronic health problems.

“The public will hate it but what a hoot if politicians adopt it”.

And we all know they will. How else can you explain the idea to ban on eating food on trains.

A sandwich, a bag of crisps and a g&t on the 15.07 to Inverness has never made anyone fat. It actually makes the journey go quicker, but to some who have to justify their large salary, then it must go.

Public officials, many on huge salaries, seemingly want to ban everything as it makes it easier all round.

So why not go the whole hog and ban food entirely? It’s guaranteed to shed pounds off the population within days, the ageing population won’t exist any more and no-one will present at GPs with complex health problems.

Everyone will just have malnutrition and rickets or both. Indeed, as will the GP so there isn’t really much point going.

Public health officials’ fall-back position seems to be to ban anything that is bad for you, but that can’t be the answer to everything.

They need to start earning their corn and try harder to solve the crisis we face. Not that they can eat the corn obviously.

Some bans are good for health, such as smoking in public places, minimum pricing on alcohol seems to be working and the sugar tax is bound to reap rewards.

But there is a limit on how far public health initiatives should go. Rather than being a means to improving health, they end up penalising the majority for indulging in a treat or two in moderation.

In the meantime, sit back and carry on popping open the Pringles on the train home.