Island strife
ONE of Holyrood’s top perks is to go round the world with the Commonwealth Parliamentary Association. Two plum Caribbean junkets - sorry, election monitoring opportunities - recently came up for Montserrat and the Caymans. LibDem Liam McArthur declared he was well up for it, only for his boss Willie Rennie to block him. He emailed the forgetful Orkney MSP to remind him a general election was nigh. “We’d need you here for that,” he lectured Liam, dashing those dreams of a hammock under the palms.
Snap happy
PHOTO of the week was tweeted by Richard Leonard, showing the Scottish Labour leader clamped ecstatically to baffled looking White House hopeful Bernie Sanders in New York. America needs Bernie's "transformative programme, beamed Mr Leonard. “Man who won’t be First Minister meets man who won’t be President,” quipped one Holyrood wag. Still, at least it made up for Mr Leonard being snubbed by Tony Blair when the former Labour PM was in Edinburgh recently. He chose to meet a more relevant Ruth Davidson.
Money talks
TORY gaffe-magnet Michelle Ballantyne made headlines after being unfeeling about the poor on Facebook. Her heart may be in doubt, but not her Unionism. Replying to a recent Government consultation, her hubby gave a clue why. The family firm, in which the Borders MSP declares £247,000 of shares, “took on substantial loans” based on the No vote of 2014. “Indyref2 will stop any further plans we have to grow, and we will start seriously considering our long term future in Scotland,” he fumed. Such noble motivation.
Tongue tied
BREXIT fatigue sees many MPs trip over their words, even expert yakkers like SNP Westminster leader Ian Blackford. On Tuesday, he told Boris Johnson his Brexit deal would disadvantage Scotland relative to Northern Ireland. Ulster’s businesses would enjoy “unfattered access to the UK market,” he declared. All very odd, as there is nothing unfattered about Mr Blackford at all.
Shannon flow
THERE was also a plum Freudian slip from the loquacious DUP MP Jim Shannon in a Commons committee as he tore strips off NI Secretary Julian Smith about Brexit. As for the recent decriminalisation of abortion in the province, Mr Shannon warbled: “I oppose this profusely.” He does, too.
Train crazy
THURSDAY provided a big insight into Labour’s lack of direction. After Jeremy Corbyn addressed staff about a possible election, top aide Karie Murphy said JC adored campaigning. “He loves to go on the train to obscure places like the South West or Orkney.” Orkney by train? Yikes
Wrap up the volume
ALSO clueless - about a benefactor - is Nicola Sturgeon’s special advisor Ross Ingebrigtsen. Unspun hears Ross recently received a mysterious package in the post to his new home. Inside was a second box wrapped in tape. Opening it with deep suspicion, he found what appeared to be a first edition of H. Rider Haggard’s ripping adventure yarn King Solomon’s Mines, with no accompanying explanation. He’s perplexed, but after working on the last White Paper on independence, he does enjoy classic fiction.
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