The Leader Interviews: Boris Johnson - Tonight (STV)***

The BBC Prime Ministerial Debate (BBC1)**

SO this was it, the big one. No, hang on, that was Neil v Johnson, which the Prime Minister had ducked.

It could have been Etchingham v Johnson, but the blonde flirt had led the lovely Julie on too, saying of course he would be there on the big day for an interview, only to give her a dizzy at the last minute.

Denied his company, Etchingham was left with half an hour to fill, so what else to do but profile the bounder. It was all there, the women, the unlawful prorogation, the women, his chequered career, the women … It was like an 18 certificate version of This is Your Life.

The nation should have been grateful that he turned up in Maidstone where a pair of podiums, Nick Robinson, Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn, and a studio audience were waiting.

Opening statements over it was time for the questions. As Corbyn gave his first answer the screen behind him turned black, as if sending some subliminal message about perpetual night under a Labour government. Blooming BBC bias.

On we went, through Brexit, trade deals, nurse numbers. It was all terribly civilised and more than a little tedious. Perhaps the country was suffering debate fatigue. Where was the anger, the passion? This was like two aged sheep jostling for position at the feed trough.

Despite the audience being asked to show restraint a couple of old boys, clearly Johnson supporters, applauded loudly at several points.

“What would you do to get the hate out of politics?” asked a young man in the audience. Neither man went for the simple answer - don’t let blokes called Dave hold EU referendums. Johnson accused Corbyn of a “failure of leadership” on anti-Semitism, then managed to turn this into an attack on Corbyn’s neutrality on a second referendum.

The next question was what punishment was appropriate for politicians who did not tell the truth, which brought forth a mega chunter from Johnson, who started banging on about people being made to go on their knees and walk through the Commons chamber while flogging themselves with whatever dodgy document they were punting. Whatever lights your candle, mate. Corbyn hit back, reminding him of a certain statement on the side of a bus.

This was more like it. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad after all that Andrew Neil was denied the chance to ask Johnson his searing questions, that Julie Etchingham had been snubbed. But no, a look at the clock revealed we were out of time. What a waste, of an hour, of an opportunity.