Nicola Rylatt was visiting her hairdresser when it happened.

Just five days earlier she had been celebrating her first wedding anniversary. Home was in Switzerland; her husband Chris was working in the financial sector and the young couple should have been looking forward to a happy future.

Instead, in the hairdresser’s chair, came an overwhelming dread that this time something awful had occurred.

“Chris was the life and soul of the party. He was sociable and very kind-hearted. It was only me that saw what was going on under the surface,” recalls Nicola, 35.

“Every day I thought ‘would it be today’? I was afraid to let him out of my sight.”

Chris had suffered from depression, anxiety and addiction issues. Sometimes he confided to her of wanting to end his life and Nicola, isolated in a strange country and anxious not to betray his trust, struggled with the burden of trying to cope and the fear of what each new day might bring.

One day she took the chance to nip to the hairdresser. “While I was there, he was messaging me, and then the texts stopped,” she says. “I knew straight away that something had happened to him.”

Chris was 33 years old when took his own life on that November day in 2017. Afterwards Nicola, numb with grief, grappled with the legal chaos that accompanies a sudden death and her torturous feelings of guilt.

“There’s a lot of blame, why didn’t I do this or that? There’s a lot of analysis of the final days, hours and week.

“Loss through suicide is traumatic,” continues Nicola, who now lives in Airdrie.

“What is important now is that my experience can help or even give hope to just one person. I want people to know that, unfortunately, this is normal.”

Nicola and more than a dozen others directly affected by suicide are now helping to mould a new effort to tackle Scotland’s disturbing suicide rates.

In coming weeks pilot projects and fresh approaches to caring for families and those at risk are set to be rolled out; important first steps towards implementing Scotland’s 10-part national suicide prevention action plan, Every Life Matters, which, it’s hoped, can save lives.

They include specialist bereavement pilot projects in Ayrshire and Arran, and the Highlands which aim to help families thrown into the trauma of loss due to suicide.

Much more than simply a shoulder to cry on, the aim is to guide them through the harrowing legal complications surrounding suicide as well as practical problems such as closing bank accounts.

There will also be emotional support aimed at breaking the harrowing cycle which puts those bereaved due to suicide at 12% greater risk of taking their own lives.

There are also plans to introduce new working practices which will see suicide deaths in the community investigated in a way not done before, preventative measures introduced at known suicide hotspots and new practices so emergency responders such as paramedics can be more involved in easing people in crisis into the healthcare process.

The actions are being delivered by the National Suicide Prevention Leadership Group (NSPLG), an independent group established by the Scottish Government which has drawn on often harrowing real-life experiences of people directly impacted by suicide, such as Nicola, alongside input from academics and other professionals.

Among those taking part is Fiona Drouet, whose  daughter, Emily, an 18-year-old Aberdeen University law student, took her own life in March 2016 following an abusive relationship, and others who have battled through their own suicidal thoughts and want to use their experiences to help others.

Set up in late 2018, the group’s work is coming together just as concerns mount over the impact of the pandemic on mental health, and with suicide figures at an 11-year high.

Disturbing data released by National Records of Scotland for 2019 showed 833 probable suicides in Scotland, an increase from 784 the previous year. The figure is the highest since the 2011 figure of 889.

Almost two thirds of the 2019 cases involved men, with 45-54 age category most affected, however, the data also revealed a worrying rise in suicides among women aged 15-25 and the over-55s.

Those living in poorer areas were three times more likely to take their own lives than wealthier counterparts.

The group’s chair, former deputy chief constable of Police Scotland Rose Fitzpatrick, says the real-life experiences and openness of people directly affected by suicide – among them Nicola – is crucial to the group’s work.

“All bring different sorts of experience: some of them have experienced suicidal thoughts or behaviour, some have been bereaved by suicide. Many say they don’t want other people to go through what they’ve gone through,” she says.

One of the most visible elements of the group’s work is United to Prevent Suicide, a campaign launched last year which includes some of their powerful real-life descriptions of the impact of suicide.

The first Scottish Government campaign of its kind in 20 years, aims to demystify the word ‘suicide’ in the same way that cancer is no longer regarded with same suspicion as it once was.

“People worry about using the word ‘suicide’,” adds Fitzpatrick. “The research shows we can’t put the idea in someone’s head, but we can give them a tremendous feeling of relief that they are able to talk about it.

“Think about cancer,” she adds. “No one used to speak about it, and it was a terrible stigma for those going through it. People carried the burden on their own, in the dark feeling horribly stigmatised by it.”

She also hopes care of those at risk of suicide can take its lead from cancer services, with single points of contact to guide them through their care and clear routes to support.

The pandemic, however, has raised the stakes.

“It’s too early to talk about the pandemic having had an impact but we know it’s coming,” says Fitzpatrick.

“We know that a proportion of people who have underlying serious mental health conditions are at risk. There are also people who suddenly take their lives who had no history of mental ill health, but who found themselves at that point because of things that have happened in their lives.

“We have to recognise that the issues around pandemic and education will have an impact on children and young people. And we have to do more to understand what it is that is impacting on young women in that age group.”

Meanwhile, work is going on with a view to ensuring every death by suicide in the community is reviewed by professionals - a move that could help provide answers for grieving relatives in the same position as Nicola.

“We are trying to develop a model that’s about sharing of knowledge, involvement of families and sharing of learnings,” adds Fitzpatrick.

“I believe that suicide is preventable, and we should try in every case to make a difference.”

www.unitedtopreventsuicide.org.uk