FIRST thought? I was seeing things. BBC1 Scotland, last Monday, just before 7pm. Reporting Scotland had curtailed the weather blether early, so something was afoot. Sure enough, the continuity man announced, “And now a party political broadcast by the Scottish Labour Party”.

Half way out the room, I did a comedy turn on my heels. A PPB from Scottish Labour? This was a commendable display of initiative and multi-tasking from a party meant to be up to its oxters electing its fifth leader in a decade.

Would it be a conciliatory farewell by departing leader Richard Leonard; maybe an innovative show of unity from leadership candidates Monica Lennon and Anas Sarwar; or some bland but well meant gee-up to show Scottish Labour was still alive and about to start kicking again?

It was none of the above. A camera whirred and the picture snapped into focus to reveal Sir Keir Starmer, leader of the Labour Party at UK level. The only other thing in the frame was a giant union flag. Over images from around the UK he spoke of “the British people”, “our country” and the need to “get Britain vaccinated”.

READ MORE: Leadership hopefuls promise independent stances

There was not even the pretence that Scottish Labour was anything other than a branch office of London. Head office had steamed in, set up shop, and was putting its feet on the table. It would have been humiliating if Scottish Labour had much pride left to muster.

Alternatively, it could have been just another in a long line of simple mistakes. Turns out it was not. What viewers in Scotland were being treated to was a sneak peek at Labour’s new, union flag-toting image.

According to an internal strategy presentation leaked to The Guardian, Labour has been advised to undergo a “radical rebranding” to win back voters in seats that went from red to blue in the last General Election. Central to the new image are the union flag and the smartest suits M&S can supply. Or as the presentation puts it: “The use of the flag, veterans, dressing smartly at the war memorial etc give voters a sense of authentic values alignment.”

A sense of authentic values alignment. It sounds like a line from The Office, W1A or some similar spoof, but unfortunately it is all too plausible. If this is Keir Starmer’s big idea to form a UK government in 2024 it is deeply unimpressive and lacking in originality. As a way of sending Scottish Labour into the Scottish Parliament elections in May it could hardly be wider of the target. More flag waving? Just what Scotland needs. Indeed, the strategy’s authors warn it is unlikely to go down well with “Scots and younger Remain voters”. But there you have it: you can’t fight city hall or head office.

READ MORE: Lennon's top priority

You do have to wonder how much attention, if any, London pays to Scottish Labour. Mr Starmer has announced his plans for a constitutional convention on greater devolution, aka the latest “kick the ball into the long grass” strategy, and is content to leave it at that.

Meanwhile, Scottish Labour can barely be bothered being Scottish Labour any more. Go on to their party website, click on “media latest”, and you are directed to the Donald Dewar memorial lecture, as delivered by Jack McConnell on October 8 last year. There are plenty of pictures of Mr Leonard should you be in need of one. No wonder membership has dropped from 25,836 in 2018 to 16,467, according to the Daily Record. I was surprised it was even that high.

You can hardly blame the party, much less the wider Scottish electorate, for not fizzing with excitement over the current leadership contest. There are only so many times people can be marched up a hill, especially one so featureless.

Mr Sarwar has the dubious distinction of losing to Mr Leonard in 2017. The Glasgow MSP is the continuity candidate in as much as he is punting the same old positions as last time, freshened up with a sprinkling of the word “Covid” here and there. A multi-millionaire who sent his children to private school, he’s even showing the same pair of Achilles heels as last time.

Thank heavens for Monica Lennon at least having a go, though there is nothing surprising in her manifesto either. Who does not want such things as “a better future for our young people with dignity for our older people”. Last time I checked no party was striving for a worse future for young and old.

READ MORE: The Herald quizzes candidates on each other

On the constitution question, the Central Scotland MSP would not block a second independence referendum but would have a third option on the ballot for devo max. Another kick into the long grass if ever there was one. To her credit, however, her bill to provide free period products to anyone in need of them puts her in the rare position for a politician of actually Getting Something Done. Changing people’s lives, making headlines around the world, how many in politics can say they have managed that much?

Lennon’s achievement aside, this Scottish Labour contest is shaping up to be as tired and uninspiring as the others. They might as well have sought sponsorship from a sleeping pill manufacturer and be done with it.

The problems of the Scottish Labour Party, like those of the party as a whole, go back generations. In Scotland, politics moved on, well past the Blair-Dewar phase, but Scottish Labour did not change with the times. At the current rate, it is going to take another generation to catch up.

As it is, the best hope for Scottish Labour in the forthcoming election is that it does no worse than it was expected to under Mr Leonard – and that is bad.

Labour supporters or not, we should all wish things were different, and that it matters who becomes leader of Scottish Labour on February 27.

Look at Scotland today. So much to be done before Covid, and now the road to recovery is longer and tougher. Scotland needs a government on its game and an opposition doing likewise, yet it has neither.

In the absence of any credible opposition the SNP Government is falling down on the job and getting away with it, day after day. The party is so riven with division, and so arrogant, it does not even try to hide the state it is in. No worries at all about being punished at the ballot box.

The tragedy is it is probably correct. At what long term cost to Scotland one can hardly begin to imagine.