UNSPUN sends its thanks to Holyrood’s media office for releasing high quality footage of new MSPs getting their induction in the chamber on Monday and Tuesday. Few realised they were being filmed. Hence most looked glassy-eyed with boredom, especially leonine Nat Angus Robertson, who seemed to have a right dose of ennui, and Tory Russell Findlay, who failed to suppress a yawn. The sound quality was also exceptional. Labour’s Martin Whitfield, on trying his seat, was thus recorded for posterity exclaiming: “Can hardly f***ing move, can we?”

Look who’s talking
ALSO picked up by the microphones was Paul Sweeney’s verdict on the architecture. “It’s like something out of MC Escher,” he told fellow Labour newbie Michael Marra. “It’s a cool chamber though.” While Highlands Green Ariane Burgess was quick to ask if she had to turn up next week or could work remotely. But our favourite was Banffshire Nat Karen Adam, who was caught in the background taking endless selfies at her desk before spotting the camera and giving a toe-curling sheepish grin. Top starts all round!

Smug of War
SNP MP and eyebrow model Alyn Smith jumped into action - well, onto social media - in response to the terrible events in Israel and Gaza on Wednesday. The party’s foreign affairs spokesman tweeted a snap of himself calling the Israeli Embassy. “We need to de-escalate tensions now in all areas,” was his top tip. Adding to the gravitas, a series of heavyweight journals on international  affairs just happened to be spread across his desk. Funnily enough, most were from last year. Still, they did look good in the picture. 

Spoiler Alert
HOLYROOD whodunnit of the week concerns the MSP who made history as the first to spoil their ballot in the election of the new Presiding Officer. As the vote was one of 31 not in favour of Green Alison Johnstone, suspicion has naturally fallen on one of the 31 Tories. Unpsun asked the Holyood press office what obscene or illegible scrawl lay was involved. They told us to ask the scrutineer, LibDem Beatrice Wishart. She told us to ask the press office. It’s a cover-up! 
SCOTTISH Tory leader Douglas Ross made headlines on Thursday for having a go at SNP MP Pete Wishart for his “poor and inept” chairing of the Scottish Affairs Committee. But Mr Wishart was an amateur  next to the main witness, Scottish Secretary Alister Jack. Quizzed about when the UK Government was going to grant Indyref2 on the back of the SNP’s landslide, Mr Jack opined: “I don’t acknowledge that every vote cast was a vote for independence; there is a myriad of issues people vote on – maybe people were wanting free bicycles? Who knows?” No wonder Mr Ross felt obliged to stir things up, lest Mr Jack’s ramblings dominate the news.

Wrong distance
LONELY Alba MPs Neale Hanvey And Kenny MacAskill came under fire recently for missing votes after defecting from the SNP. This week they hit back by saying they'd, er, do more of the same. They will now only go to Westminster if they can "promote Scottish interests”, and only vote “when appropriate”, adding: “Our two votes either way are not going to make any difference.” Let’s hope an £82,000 salary can at least make some small difference to a trying life of leisure.