WHETHER it’s a luxury cottage at Loch Lomond or wild camping, there are people packing for Scotland right now. It’s sparking a realisation: there’s a need for a Scottish suitcase. I don’t mean luggage featuring thistles or a Tunnock’s Teacake – though these designs exist – but a valise with more volume.

The reason, unlike the weather, is clear. When packing for Scotland, one must take outfits for 9ºC and substitutions for 19ºC. Plus layers to withstand rain of varying grades of vehemence. And footwear that works with it all.

This necessitates a trial pack. It’s the one pilot involved in your 2021 summer holiday so seize the chance.

If you don’t have a spare bed covered with holiday apparel long before departure, good luck on day three of your hols when a cold front rolls in and there’s a nip in the air but no cardie in your grip.

A glorious moment pre-Scottish holiday is when you’ve cracked what’s to be packed. You’ve got your base layer. Your cloud layer. An evening layer. A drizzle-resistant layer.

And a deluge-proof layer that’s sufficiently generous to wear all other layers underneath because you can’t rule out summer snow and hail.

This is when you have truly packed for Scotland – it’s a medal-winning edit, you’ve folded for every front, you’ve covered outdoors, indoors, you can even go cycling dammit, and absolutely not one more thing can be struck out.

But then worst-case scenario. Your layer-aware selection refuses to go into your bag.

Here are the typical sizes of luggage sold. A medium suitcase has a capacity of 75 litres. A large suitcase offers 117 litres. In days gone by (i.e. two summers ago) the next size up would have been called a “long-haul trunk”. This year it’s the Scottish suitcase. (And no, don’t be silly, you can’t all take two suitcases. Not until there are Scottish cars with much bigger boots.)

Sticking with the topic, I’ve been seeing lots of ire when the term “staycation” is used to describe a hotel or self-catering break in this country. A “staycation”, insist the irked, means staying in your own home and doing day trips.

I now hear talk of “seacations” – a circular cruise which stops at zero ports – though feel sure this term is mocking the alleged misuse of “staycation”. But it makes me ponder upon other vacation variants.

“Allocation” – a break in Alloa.

“Location” – going anywhere that’s not the Highlands.

“Pontification” – booking a villa with a bridge view.

“Unification” – a cheap holiday in student halls left empty over summer.

“Whatever-cation” you book, it will surely bring the first midge bites of summer. Midges are like Amazon: thriving because of Covid-19. Amazon had a surge in orders, midges will have a surge in odours – which, along with breath, is what attracts them to human holiday-making prey. Wouldn’t it be great if mask-wearing were mandatory for insects? Until then, I’m finding space for insect repellent in my Scottish luggage. Just in case.