A LONG Covid sufferer has opened up about how he is learning to live with the after effects of the virus two years on and is searching for an answer to when he will ever get a break from it.
Callum O’Dywer was forced to give up his work as an engineer and has had days when he couldn’t do anything. Now two years on he has shed light on what his daily routine is like and how Covid still impacts on what he can do. It leaves him wondering when he will ever feel well again.
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In his latest blog Wildest Dreams, Mr O’Dwyer, from Aberdeen, said: “Two years is a long time to be sick. To wake up every morning feeling like a squeezed-out tube of toothpaste, to experience punishment for the simplest, most instinctive of tasks, to gladly don restrictions to eke out a sustainable dribble of life, any routine observed to stave off the Old Testament God trapped in my nervous system. My dreams are not free. Long Covid touches everything. I am ready for this to be over now. Can’t I ever catch a break from this?"
Mr O’Dwyer contracted covid in March 2020 around the time of the first national lockdown. He began to feel unwell and remembers gasping for breath.
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The 30-year-old moved back in with his parents and put his career on hold. He was a keen runner and went to the gym, but the virus robbed him of any energy and at times he couldn’t even climb the stairs.
While his health improved initially, a few months later he began to experience symptoms of Long Covid including heart palpitations and brain fog.
“Earlier in my illness I lived a dual future in my head where I allowed myself to think about the prospect of recovery in the next three, six, 12 months’ time, say; ballasted with the very real and sometimes unbearable prospect of this being… well, functionally permanent,” he added.
As for the future he can’t see a time when he feels well again unless treatments are found. Currently 155,000 Scots are suffering with Long Covid, some of whom have been affected for more than two years, and numbers are only expected to rise.
While the Scottish Government announced £10million funding for Long Covid over three years, it was criticised by Scottish Labour as being the equivalent to just £19 per patient per year which the party said was inadequate.
He added: “I live entirely in one future now. I will very likely remain unwell for the foreseeable future, unless some sort of direct treatment can be found. It is likely that I will continue to have small improvements, and it is also likely I will continue to adapt within my circumstances.”
Mr O’Dwyer says he leads far from a normal life and describes himself as disabled.
“I have massive barriers in my life originating from within my own body. And as much as I can thrash and wail against that — this is my unwavering reality,” he added. “The moment I started to accept this was when I began to have some breakthroughs in my condition management."
With the support of his family and with careful management, he is slowly managing to do some things he thought wouldn’t have been possible even 12 months ago.
He added: “I have approximately 45 to 60 minutes where I can comfortably sit up, walk and so on until I must rest, preferably curled up on my side in bed for two hours. If I am upright for up to two hours in one go, I must rest four to six hours and risk making me worse for days; and it rises exponentially from there. Imagine trying to go about your normal day where one hour of being upright costs two hours in bed. Trying to navigate a full work day at a desk, meeting friends for a few drinks, even going to the cinema would cost more than a day in recovery, likely more.”
One thing that has changed for the better is Mr O’Dwyer has taken on a new job working for an MSP wjth flexibility.
He added: “I have a great boss who understands my limitations, but moreover, understands my strengths, I have a creative avenue. I am no longer sat staring at the back of my own illness all day.”
And one major step was being able to spend a day in the office in Edinburgh which for Mr O’Dwyer was a major achievement.
“I felt like I was on a spacewalk I was so out of my environment; but had everything I needed to survive,” he added.
To read Callum O'Dwyers's blog in full go to https://callumjodwyer.medium.com/wildest-dreams-e12e961572c
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