No Love Songs: Kyle Falconer on post natal depression and his new show

But while he focused on writing fresh material, addiction struggles firmly behind him, working in America for the first time and with a baby and toddler bringing new perspective to life, back at home in Dundee something dreadful was happening.

Laura Wilde, his partner, remembers being locked in the bathroom, sobbing uncontrollably. Wracked with anxiety and panic, shocking thoughts swirled.

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“It was the lowest point,” she says, recalling how postnatal depression following the birth of their second daughter, Winnie, sank its teeth into what should have been a joyous point in both their lives.

“Winnie was just four or five weeks old, Kyle was away and I realised I was having thoughts that maybe the children would be better off if I wasn’t here.

“I had always thought postnatal depression was about not looking after the baby,” she continues. “In my head I was happy, I was in my bubble, looking after her.

“But I wasn’t looking after myself or my mental health.”

Laura Wilde had postnatal depression following the birth her second daughter, Winnie (Image: Newsquest)

It was her lowest point. Thankfully, it jolted her to seek the help she needed to get through.

Now with a third child, 18-months-old Jett, it’s a dark period that some couple’s would prefer to forget.

Instead, they have poured their experiences into a deeply personal ‘gig theatre’ project that combines Kyle’s material from ‘No Love Songs For Laura’, the successful solo album he was working on at the time, with a story penned by Laura and co-writer Johnny McKnight, of River City.

Inspired by the couple’s real-life experiences with a fictional spin, it spans difficult topics rarely dealt with on stage, never mind by musical theatre.

Focused around a fictional young couple, Lana and Jesse, it follows the unique challenges of their new lives as parents, encompassing struggles with postnatal depression and the impact on their own relationship.

Kyle Falconer admits read throughs for show at Dundee Rep moved him to tears (Image: Newsquest)

It is so raw and so personal, that Kyle admits read throughs prior to next week’s preview run at Dundee Rep, it runs from 13-20 May, moved him to tears.

“I don’t think we were aware of how vulnerable we would feel until the actual reading and hearing the songs being sung,” he says.

“It was really emotional, and every run through it became harder to watch.”

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A storyline drawn from the depths of post-natal depression could be a dive into a dark place for theatre audiences. Instead, both stress No Love Songs reflects the many shades of grey that make up real life, when humour and laughter can also emerge from the bleakest of circumstances.

And while it’s hoped it can provoke discussion and lift the veil and stigma that often surrounds postnatal depression, it is also their beacon of hope to others experiencing the tough challenges that come with new parenthood.

“At first we were second guessing and wondering if the subject is a bit dark,” says Kyle. “But there’s time to laugh in it – and there is more laughter than sadness in life.”

Adds Laura: “When you’re going through something tragic, there are still laughs and good times.

“We wanted to show that side of it, of having children and coming through the other side.”

Looking back now, she recognises that postnatal depression was present following the birth of their first daughter, Wylde, in 2017, waiting to surface with a vengeance just two years later with the arrival of Winnie.

“I was very isolated,” she recalls. “I’d moved to Dundee and didn’t have solid foundations or family around me.

“With Wylde, there was anxiety. I became unable to leave the house, I was panicking and pouring everything into her and not paying attention to myself.

“I didn’t realise that it was postnatal depression. I just thought it was what you go through.

“It was more severe when I had Winnie because it hadn’t been dealt with it properly. It was unsolved.”

With Kyle abroad, Laura’s health faltered. “I was not okay. I was locking myself in the bathroom, having these panic attacks, crying. But you don’t want to admit to yourself you’re not handling things.

“Then when I did decide to get help, it was ‘we can give you medication, but you’ll have to stop breastfeeding’. And I didn’t want to do that.”

Kyle, meanwhile, was struck by his own feelings of guilt.

“I’d just left the band and was doing my own stuff, full focus on that and writing the new album.

“I had thought what was going on was standard stuff for new parents.

“I feel guilty about that, especially after Winnie was born and I was away for weeks at a time.

“But I suppose everything happens for a reason.”

From that period came the powerful songs that make up Kyle’s critically acclaimed album, No Love Songs For Laura, many of which touch on the couple’s experiences and now feature in their new joint work.

While the songs and their real-life experiences provided the foundations, Still Game’s Ford Kiernan played a key role bringing it together.

“He’s a friend and I told him we had this idea. He suggested getting in touch with Andrew Paton from Dundee Rep and Johnny McKnight.

“We all met and they fell in love with the idea.”

Remarkably, it is the first script Laura has written. There’s potential, adds Kyle, of it marking the beginning of a new creative partnership.

“I feel like a proud parent. And if it goes the way I think it will, it would be daft not to work together more,” he says, adding: “Maybe we could be the next Andrew Lloyd Webber and Tim Rice.”

For Laura, meanwhile, the darkness of postnatal depression has brought a positive, personal reawakening.

“I feel I have got my independence back. I’m that person that I was before I had kids. I suffer from imposter syndrome, but I feel confident now,” she says.

“There are other things that I’m passionate about as well as my children.”

The overall hope for No Love Songs, meanwhile, is that it can highlight the torment of postnatal depression, sparking better awareness of a condition that affects more than one in ten women.

“It’s hard for people to have that first conversation about it,” adds Laura.

“I can talk about it now, but there is still so much ‘shame’ around it.

“We want people to see there’s an ‘after’, and at the end it is positive.”

No Love Songs has a week-long preview run at Dundee Rep from 13 to 20 May, ahead of the World Premiere and further dates this summer, to be announced next week.

For details visit here