From 'bedwetters' to BTS: Coldplay in their own music

They’ve sold more than 100 million albums worldwide and have the kind of clout which means they can sell out Wembley Stadium for six nights and back them into NFL enormo-domes across the pond.

For many though they’re the epitome of bland, with Alan McGee calling their output “bedwetter music” while Liam Gallagher said Martin “looks like a geography teacher”.

So what are they? Indie heroes done good or beige supremacy? Something in between?

Let’s take a look at their career through their own songs as we ponder that question.

Brothers & Sisters (Non-album single, 1999)

Recorded in four days at a cost of £400, ‘Brothers & Sisters’ didn’t exactly mark Martin & Co out as future stadium botherers. It reached number 92 on the UK singles chart, the result of a short-term deal between the band and Fierce Panda Records.

Yellow (Parachutes, 2000)

Partially inspired by the Yellow Pages – yes, really – the second single from Parachutes proved to be the band’s breakthrough. Accompanied by a now-iconic video of Martin walking along a beach at sunrise, it reached number 4 in the UK and even cracked the top 50 in the U.S – a rarity for British bands at the time.

Clocks (A Rush of Blood to the Head, 2003)

As instantly recognisable as the guitar riff on ‘Seven Nation Army’ or the bass on ‘Under Pressure’, Martin’s piano melody was an instant earworm the world over. In 2010 Rolling Stone named it one of the 500 greatest songs of all time.

Speed of Sound (X&Y, 2005)

Despite their monumental success, Coldplay were yet to score a UK number one. It was expected that would arrive with the first single from X&Y, which added a synth-heavy chorus to the ‘Clocks’ formula. It even reached the top 10 Stateside, but was kept off the top spot in Britain by the Crazy Frog. The annoying amphibian remained at the top spot for four weeks and ‘Axel F’ was the third biggest song of the year. Whatever you think of Coldplay, that’s something the nation needs a truth and reconciliation committee for.

Fix You (X & Y, 2005)

If you were to pick out the most Coldplay song of all Coldplay songs, it’d be ‘Fix You’. It’s sort of vaguely romantic, the lyrics don’t make much sense - “lights will guide you home and ignite your bones”?! – and most importantly it’s absolutely precision engineered to sound brilliant in a Glastonbury headline set.

Bittersweet Symphony (Live 8, 2005)

When Chris Martin talks about fighting poverty and dealing with climate change you know he actually means it – the man’s just too earnest to be doing it cynically. That same quality also means he can come across as, well, a bit of a berk. The two met at Live 8 in 2005 when Coldplay gave over a song of their set – watched by millions – to Richard Ashcroft just because they wanted to perform with “the best singer in the world”.

Viva La Vida (Viva La Vida or Death and All His Friends, 2008)

There’s an unwritten rule in rock that you do synths on the third album and for the fourth you get Brian Eno in. That’s exactly what Coldplay did, ditching electric guitars and piano for strings and keyboards. It finally got them that UK number one and it topped the charts in America too.

Princess of China (Mylo Xyloto, 2012)

British rock bands don’t generally succeed across the pond these days. Blur never bothered the Billboard Hot 100, Oasis had a number 8 and a number 55 (‘Wonderwall’ and ‘Don’t Look Back In Anger respectively) and Arctic Monkeys had one single reach number 70. Coldplay though? Stadium shows across the country and duets with Rihanna.

A Sky Full of Stars (Ghost Stories, 2014)

Supporters would praise their constant evolution, cynics would accuse them of hopping on trends, but whichever way you look at it Coldplay were only notionally a rock band by 2014. They created house-influenced single ‘A Sky Full of Stars’ with noted DJ Avicii and scored both critical and commercial success.

People of the Pride (Music of the Spheres, 2021)

Music of the Spheres is about a fictional planetary system which contains nine planets, three natural satellites, a star and a nebula, with each one of them corresponding to a certain track on the album. If you just rolled your eyes then you’re not alone, but ‘People of the Pride’ was a real, glam-stomping highlight.

Bonus

The Scientist (A Rush of Blood to the Head, 2003)

Anyone doubting Martin’s way with a melody need only listen to ‘The Scientist’, a piano breakup ballad par excellence. “Nobody said it was easy/nobody said it would be this hard/oh, take me back to the start” the singer croons in a falsetto voice.

Violet Hill (Viva La Vida or Death and All His Friends, 2008)

An unusually heavy effort by Coldplay standards, ‘Violet Hill’ took aim at right-wing media – “the future’s architectured by a carnival of idiots” – and evangelical war-mongers - “priests clutched on to bibles/hollowed out to fit their rifles”.

Paradise (Mylo Xyloto, 2011)

Martin’s ability to write stadium-sized songs remained undiminished even as his band moved away from their indie-rock roots, never mind if no-one is quite sure what Mylo Xyloto means or how to pronounce it.

Adventure of a Lifetime (A Headful of Dreams, 2015)

‘Coldplay do funk’ is actually a lot better than it sounds on paper. Kirkcaldy’s own Guy Berryman channels Flea from the Red Hot Chili Peppers on the bass as his bandmates fuse it with some kind of 70s disco melody. Say what you like about “bedwetters”, you wouldn’t get that from Heavy Stereo.

My Universe (featuring BTS) (Music of the Spheres, 2021)

The author hasn’t actually even heard this song but BTS fans can be vicious.