Crash Regan
After her independence thermometer wheeze in the SNP leadership contest, born-again Alba MSP Ash Regan spoiled us again on Thursday with a Goodfellas kidnap analogy as she launched her new party’s Indy powers plan. “We’re in a stalemate. If our political destiny is a car, it’s like Scotland is locked in the boot of that car, when we need to be in the driving seat. This gives Scotland the opportunity to clamber over the seats, get into the driving seat and drive towards our political future.” Sounds more like being stuck in Alba with Alex Salmond.

Bricking it
Talking of tough guys, SNP enforcer Owen Thompson has been sharing his inner life as Westminster chief whip with Holyrood magazine. The Midlothian MP keeps in shape by, er, hanging around with his childhood Star Wars figures and doing Lego. Asked his guilitest pleasure, he said: “It is probably building Lego. I do it every so often when I’m in the flat in London by myself; it’s quite a nice and relaxing thing to do to shut your brain off at night.” And you wonder why the SNP’s MPs squabble like children? Still, if they need someone to build a wall along the border, he’s your man

Spelling test
The sad death of former Chancellor and Scottish Secretary Lord Darling reminds Unspun of the happier time he was asked by a reporter to spell his name. It was Alistair with an I, he replied. Not like Labour spindoctor Alastair Campbell, who he said was definitely an “Alas”. 

Judge and fury
Green MSP Maggie Chapman nearly killed off Scotland’s second most senior judge at the civil justice committee on Tuesday. In a session on regulating lawyers, she asked Lady Dorrian what would happen if her boss, the Lord President, “goes rogue?” Lady D’s initial laugh quickly turned into a choking cough and she had to slap herself on the chest. “Well, we don’t legislate on the basis that we have to worry about people going rogue,” she said as she  recovered. “I certainly think that we would notice if the Lord President went rogue.” Whether we’d notice if any MSPs lost the plot is, however, another matter. 

Tale of 2 city breaks
Another week, another FoI from the Scottish Government. This time about Green minister Lorna Slater and SNP Constitution Secretary Angus Robertson going to Brussels on the same three days last year. She might not be able to run a ginger bottle swap, but Ms Slater has principles and used public transport all the way, taking the train between Edinburgh and Belgium. She also walked to engagements. Angus, on the other hand, went by air and then spent even more (£680) on a motor to ferry him between Eurocrats. Humza Yousaf later put him in charge of us hosting the World Cycle Championships. 
 
Record keeping
Better news for  health secretary Michael Matheson, currently getting probed good and hard for billing taxpayers £3k on his office expenses toward an £11k iPad bill it turned out was down to his sons watching footie on a holiday in Morocco. Curious punters hoping to see this historic eccies claim are out of luck. Holyrood bosses have deleted it from the public database, presumably as Mr Matheson has repaid the dosh. Still, it seems a shame, especially if you want to put in an FoI about it. So Unspun has thoughtfully preserved an archive copy for all our readers. Just go to tinyurl.com/Casablanker