I'VE had my fair share of holidays.
And, no, it wasn’t because I happened upon one freak week of dry weather -- although that helped; and it wasn’t because of the glorious hills of the Highlands -- although they were bonnie. Rather, it was mainly down to one thing: we had a hot tub. Yes, that’s all.
I know, hot tubs cue visions of 1980s-style excess and bottles of Bollinger being drunk in a tub with lots of bikini-clad women and men in speedos; but I can assure you my hot tub had none of that. Except maybe the Bollinger.
You see, if ever there was a country that should embrace hot tubs, it’s Scotland. Our weather is the pits and hot tubs are, in short, all-weather friendly. They’re like giant bubble baths. And on this particular holiday, there was snow. SNOW. But we were warm -- outside! It’s no wonder our Scandinavian neighbours are so fond of them. It’s a no-brainer.
I say, it’s about time the hot tub shed its swinger image and got some respect. After all, what do we need more than anything in the UK than heat? And the new hot tubs are sleek and stylish, with specially-designed bits for your bum and champagne glass. And they even have acupressure nozzles.
Homes across this country should be having them installed in their back garden -- which is exactly what I would do if I had the space. I’d call it my home spa and add in fibre-optic lighting and an iPod dock. Just think what it would do to alleviate your stress levels.
But instead, I must be content with planning staycations with only this one criteria in mind. Which is my I’m off to the Lake District on Monday to a cottage with a hot tub. The picture on the website had a gorgeous blonde sitting in it. “Does she come with it?” asked my husband. No, I said, but I do. I’m sure the Bollinger will make up for it.
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