The first speaks for itself, of course.
Also known as sodium chloride, it's necessary for life as well as for porridge, and was so valued in ancient times that it has given us the word salary – Roman legionaries were sometimes paid with a bag of the stuff – and is woven into the religious rituals of both Jews and Hindus.
The second, "sauce", is more exotic and is venerated only on the east coast of Scotland. Chestnut in colour, though certainly not in taste, it is a condiment which, when thinned to the correct consistency through the addition of malt vinegar, is considered an epicurean delight by those who call Edinburgh home. If you purchase a fish supper in the capital and fail to stay the hand of the person behind the counter by answering "No" to the question "Sautunsoz?", then your haddock and chips will come drenched in the stuff.
If it does, rejoice. You have become an honorary Edinburgher. If not, you've missed out on a geographically-specific delight every bit as important to the city's culinary architecture as its Michelin-starred restaurants.
In fact a common sight in the city centre at festival time is the group of tourists crowded round a fish or haggis supper, each taking it in turns to sample the fragrant bouquet of the sauce.
Tomorrow, the same scenario will play out in the streets of Mount Florida as 40,000 fans of Hibernian FC and Heart Of Midlothian FC converge on Hampden park for the Scottish Cup Final. The game has been dubbed "the salt and sauce" final and, in keeping with the moniker, Glasgow's chippie owners have been stocking up on the brown stuff. The game itself may not be a visual feast – but at least the chips will taste right.
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