I’m looking for backers for my new business idea. It’s a company which hires out trustworthy people to come to your house while you’re out and perform a vital service.
Not cleaning or DIY. No, my staff will wait in, and take delivery of the many items that you’ve bought on-line.
It’s brilliant, isn’t it? After all, you work so that you can afford to buy stuff, but then you’re too knackered working to be bothered going to the shops, and everything you could ever want is just a click away.
Perfect, apart from the annoying problem of having to be in when your purchases show up. It’s so old-fashioned and analogue, isn’t it? Actual physical ‘things’ being delivered that you have to put somewhere.
If only everything - food, clothes, furniture - could be virtual - just like music, films and books. Then we could close down all the shops, not just HMV, Jessops and Blockbuster, and live hermetically sealed, virtual lives until the human race dies out. No more horse burgers or queuing or unexpected items in the bagging area. It’s a winner, isn’t it?
OK, I’ve gone a bit apocalyptic, but it’s true that we (along with the George Square design judges) have no idea what our city centres will look like in the decades to come, if shops continue to close apace. But we can take heart from one non-fantasy scenario. While we may be having a fling with digital downloads, we still love the live experience.
Look at the feast of cultural goodies on offer in these bleak opening months of the year - in Glasgow alone, Celtic Connections is under way, celebrating its 20th anniversary, with 53 musicians onstage - and that was just the opening concert. You can’t download that experience.
Meanwhile, tickets have just gone on sale for next month’s Glasgow Film Festival, the ninth edition of this hugely popular and ambitious event, which this year celebrates everything from Brazilian cinema to the joys of gaming, horror films and James Cagney. While movies can be watched on mobile phones, the festival box office figures prove that people of all ages enjoy the experience of “going to the pictures”.
And, though comedy can be consumed online, it bears no comparison to a live gig, as evidenced by another burgeoning annual event, details of which have just been announced. The 11th Glasgow International Comedy Festival - now the biggest event of its kind in Europe - will take place in March, with over 400 shows in 46 venues.
Those three examples are the big boys of the events world, but the urge to enjoy a communal experience is there at the grassroots, too. The latest I spotted is Balerno Village Screen, a brand new community cinema in Edinburgh, funded by donations and offering free admission. Upcoming films include The Artist and Skyfall.
So let’s smile through the gloom, and remember - going out is the new staying in. Just don’t forget to call me about those pesky parcel deliveries.
Why are you making commenting on The Herald only available to subscribers?
It should have been a safe space for informed debate, somewhere for readers to discuss issues around the biggest stories of the day, but all too often the below the line comments on most websites have become bogged down by off-topic discussions and abuse.
heraldscotland.com is tackling this problem by allowing only subscribers to comment.
We are doing this to improve the experience for our loyal readers and we believe it will reduce the ability of trolls and troublemakers, who occasionally find their way onto our site, to abuse our journalists and readers. We also hope it will help the comments section fulfil its promise as a part of Scotland's conversation with itself.
We are lucky at The Herald. We are read by an informed, educated readership who can add their knowledge and insights to our stories.
That is invaluable.
We are making the subscriber-only change to support our valued readers, who tell us they don't want the site cluttered up with irrelevant comments, untruths and abuse.
In the past, the journalist’s job was to collect and distribute information to the audience. Technology means that readers can shape a discussion. We look forward to hearing from you on heraldscotland.com
Comments & Moderation
Readers’ comments: You are personally liable for the content of any comments you upload to this website, so please act responsibly. We do not pre-moderate or monitor readers’ comments appearing on our websites, but we do post-moderate in response to complaints we receive or otherwise when a potential problem comes to our attention. You can make a complaint by using the ‘report this post’ link . We may then apply our discretion under the user terms to amend or delete comments.
Post moderation is undertaken full-time 9am-6pm on weekdays, and on a part-time basis outwith those hours.
Read the rules hereComments are closed on this article