LATEST news from the chalkface where a teacher in Drumchapel claims she was looking down the list of names of her new class of pupils and saw one was listed as "La-a".
She's had a few asylum seekers over the years and assuming this girl fitted into that category she asked: "How do you pronounce that? Is it just La?" However a wee girl with a Glasgow accent told her: "Naw, it's La-dash-a".
Which reminds us of being in a large Asda where a chap trailing around with a pregnant partner told her: "Hey, let's have a look at the names on the Coke bottles - it might give us inspiration."
Just passing through
WE mentioned subtle insults, and Donald Buchanan in Bearsden tells us he was down south where he was extolling the positives of Scotland as a holiday destination when a woman in his company replied: "The trouble with going to Scotland is that it is not on the way to anywhere."
Anchor man
MARIO Gizzi, co-owner of Di Maggio's, has opened the rather splendid Anchor Line bar and grill in the old offices of the Glasgow shipping firm, Anchor Line, in St Vincent Place. Anchor was well known for its transatlantic ships, but they never hit an iceberg so no one made a film about them. Anyway Mario is chuffed that a 102-year-old gentleman who used to work for Anchor Line - born before the Titanic was sunk - has booked a table for lunch as he wants to see around his old office.
We just hope he realises that the price of lunch has gone up a bit since he was a lad.
Feel free?
SO councils are chasing folk who registered to vote in the referendum to see if they are up-to-date with their tax payments. Bruce Skivington wonders if the William Wallace speech in Braveheart will be rewritten to now read: "They may take our council tax, but they'll never take our freedom!"
And folk are still pondering over the referendum result. As Dave Crawford tells us: "The Government is increasing the availability of flu jabs. There is a strong correlation between those who were inoculated last year, nearly two million, and the two million who voted No in the referendum. Far be it from me to start another conspiracy theory but ... "
Dead good deal
TALKING of politics, the Tory conference is causing a bit of a stir with Chancellor George Osborne's plans to cut the tax on inherited pensions but freeze benefits at the same time. As Gary Dunion put it: "Tells you all you need to know about this Government - that rich dead people get a better deal than ordinary living people."
Bright idea
GETTING a bit darker in the evenings. A chap in a Glasgow pub announced that the darker nights were making him feel a bit down. "Do you know what you should do?" said a toper further up the bar. "Park in the disabled bay at Tesco's than walk quickly towards the store. Lots of strangers will come up and tell you there's nothing wrong with you."
Embarrassment of riches
SOME score in the Rangers-Hibs game the other night. As writer and Hibs fan Irvine Welsh put it: "I thought, better not even look at the Hibs score, it'll be another humiliation. I was right."
Talking turkey
FINALLY, a philosophical point from Adam Kay who asks: "Why do we even give turkeys a vote about Christmas? We don't let them vote about anything else."
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