SAD to hear of the death of legendary football commentator Arthur Montford, who was always a gentleman. A reader recalls a Scotland game against Czechoslovakia when, with time ticking away, Scotland were desperate for an equaliser, and Denis Law could be clearly seen on the telly screaming at a recalcitrant ball-boy: "Ya wee bastard! Gie us the effin ball!" Arthur merely said: "There's Denis urging the ball-boy, quite correctly I may add, to get a move on." His most eye-catching tweed jacket was sold at a charity auction, to his great surprise, for five times what he had paid for it.
Golf club etiquette
ARTHUR was also a great golfer - he played with Bob Hope we recall and was presented with an engraved lighter by Bob to mark the occasion even though Arthur didn't smoke. Arthur became a member of the prestigious Glasgow Golf Club, where he drove up in his car with the Scottish Televison logo on the front doors. He was quietly told by a committee member that they preferred it if "tradesmen's vehicles" were parked well away from the clubhouse.
Monogrammed paper
OUR tales of toilet paper - no idea how we got there - remind Richard Day in Bearsden: "Grandfather Richard Day produced Tweeddale Blend whisky in Coldstream until the start of the Second World War. Because of wartime privations, the business had to close. Grandfather had masses of tissue paper used for wrapping bottles, which were emblazoned with Tweeddale Blend, which grandmother used as wartime toilet paper. As a boy I used to think my family was very posh having monogrammed toilet paper."
Power switched off
MUCH discussion about The Herald's list of the 100 most powerful and influential people in Scotland. Author Irvine Welsh, now living in the US, was placed at 39, and he tweeted: "Wife just said, 'You're not even the 39th most powerful person in this house."
Hair today gone tomorrow
GETTING old continued. Observes Ian Power: "I've now got to the age where barbers talk to me to fill out the time they used to need to cut my thick hair."
Four-letter outburst
OUR mention of a pub quiz reminds Keith White: "At an Athurlie Bowling Club quiz, the question was asked: 'Give a four-letter word ending in K meaning to have intercourse'. The obvious answer was 'Talk'. Amazing how many people got it wrong."
Commission confusion
WAS the Smith Commission good or bad? We like the reaction of Scottish Culture Secretary Fiona Hyslop who said: "Seventy per cent of taxes and 85 per cent of welfare - constituent thought that was good until I told him that's what stays at Westminster."
Rangers 1 Whyte 0
SAYS a reader: "Former Ibrox owner Craig Whyte arrested in Mexico - I'd like to think that the Texas Rangers crossed the Rio Grande to get him."
Get rich quick scheme
YOU'RE never too young to come up with a money-making scheme it seems. A Glasgow reader hears a young lad tell his pal: "Think how rich you would be if you made people watch a short commercial first every time they wanted to talk to you."
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