THE Herald reported that Glasgow School of Art is expanding by taking over the Stow College building just down the hill from it. The Stow building is quite a formidable edifice. We remember when staff from the college formed a folk group, perhaps inevitably called The Stowaways, and they sang a song about the college which included the rhyming couplet: "Even in the morning when the sun has just risen/It still manages to look like Barlinnie Prison."
WE mentioned Bellshill-born singer Sheena Easton, now based in America, and reader Matt Vallance wonders how far she has grown from her Scottish roots as her webpage includes the information that her mum back in Lanarkshire worked as a "laborer" and that Sheena herself performed a "Royal Command Performance for the Queen Mother of England at The Royal Variety Show."
MARITAL arguments continued. A Partick reader swears to us: "Last night my wife got angry with me because I kicked the ice cubes I dropped on the floor under the refrigerator.
"Still at least it's now just water under the fridge."
WISE words from a Pollokshields reader about growing old. She tells us: "One way to find out if you're old is to fall down in front of a group of people. If they laugh, you're young. If they panic, you're old."
SAD news that department store chain BHS has gone into administration. We still remember the story reported years ago in The Herald of the shoplifter arrested in BHS who claimed she could only achieve orgasm through shoplifting. A psychologist said the 35-year-old woman was turned on by uniforms, police interviews, flashing blue lights and sirens, which is why she embarked on shoplifting expeditions. She told the court: "I had my first orgasm in the back of a police car, aged 28 years. After that I was around the shops every day.''
Good try - but she was found guilty and fined £100.
ARTIST Grayson Perry has used an interview in the Radio Times out today to attack television survivalist Bear Grylls as a hangover from a past age who celebrates a masculinity that is useless. We liked his argument: "Try going into an estate agent in Finsbury Park and come out with an affordable flat. I want to see Bear Grylls looking for a decent state school for his child!”
A YOUNG chap in a Glasgow pub at the weekend was weaving a tale for his pals about being stopped by the police while driving. He claimed: "I got a bit flustered when one of them asked how fast I was going. I told them that I had moved in with my girlfriend after we'd only been going out for three months. Apparently that's not what they meant."
SOME men just don't react the right way when colleagues start discussing welcome additions to their family. Says Simon Caine: "Someone just showed me a photo of their baby on their mobile, and my first response was, 'Why are you still using an iPhone 4?'"
TODAY'S piece of whimsy comes from a reader, fed up with all those sayings which are meant to encourage us in our endeavours, who says: "Did you know that success is 43% Ss, 29% Cs, and the rest is vowels."
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