Golfing driver
A MILNGAVIE reader tells us about a golfing friend attending a function at the R&A Clubhouse in St Andrews, and as he walked towards the very traditional premises in his dark suit, crisp white shirt and club tie, he popped in en route to the municipal toilets nearby which charge 30p to use them. As he fumbled in his pockets for change, a voice behind him tried to help: "Excuse me Mate. Bus Drivers don't have to pay."
Shop talk
LARRY Cheyne gives us an insight into married life by passing on: "I was taking our two young grandsons to a model railway exhibition and my wife, thinking for some reason that this was a craft fair, decided to come along. After ten minutes at the exhibition the corners of her mouth turned down, and after half an hour her eyes glazed over. An hour later, over lunch, she said, 'Now I know how you felt all those years I took you shopping'."
A bit Irish
THE talent show the X Factor will shortly be back on our TV screens. We bump into our old chum, entertainer Dave Anderson who muses: "Brexit is of course made up of the joining of two words. Do you know the last time that was tried? Jedward. Just saying."
Fancy that
WE liked the reaction of Emily Benn, granddaughter of the late Labour MP Tony Benn, who came in for a lot of on-line abuse from Jeremy Corbyn supporters after suggesting that the Labour leader should resign over his handling of the Labour anti-Semitism row. Many people contacted her on social media to claim that her grandfather would be spinning in his grave over her stance. Emily merely replied: "I am going to visit my Grandfather's grave today. To be honest I’m slightly concerned at what state it will be in - all that turning might have made a bit of a mess? Will update later."
Talking of politics, the claims that former First Minister Alex Salmond sexually harassed two women has been much discussed by readers. As one told us: "The big surprise about the allegations is that I can't think of Alex Salmond fancying anybody but himself."
Can't cut it
A GLASGOW reader passes on the comment when a chap was chatting to a woman in a west end bar and asked her if she had any brothers or sisters. "Two half-sisters," she replied. "What? Was your dad a really bad magician?" the chap felt the need to reply.
Trumped
AS we try to make sense of American politics, reader John Henderson says: "Just an observation, but if Donald Trump was so intent in locking up Hillary, why didn’t he not simply ask her to join his campaign team?"
Driving at
GETTING old, continued. Says Duncan Shaw in Kilwinning: "Spending too long before pulling out of a supermarket parking space trying to wipe a mark away from the fascia of the new car only to eventually realise that it’s the shadow of a raindrop on the car's glass roof. Just the latest example of growing old. I’ve forgotten the others."
Gravely put
TODAY'S piece of daftness comes from a reader who emails following the news story about falling church attendances with the comment: "I've always thought that churches would be far nicer places to visit if they didn't always build them in the middle of graveyards."
Why are you making commenting on The Herald only available to subscribers?
It should have been a safe space for informed debate, somewhere for readers to discuss issues around the biggest stories of the day, but all too often the below the line comments on most websites have become bogged down by off-topic discussions and abuse.
heraldscotland.com is tackling this problem by allowing only subscribers to comment.
We are doing this to improve the experience for our loyal readers and we believe it will reduce the ability of trolls and troublemakers, who occasionally find their way onto our site, to abuse our journalists and readers. We also hope it will help the comments section fulfil its promise as a part of Scotland's conversation with itself.
We are lucky at The Herald. We are read by an informed, educated readership who can add their knowledge and insights to our stories.
That is invaluable.
We are making the subscriber-only change to support our valued readers, who tell us they don't want the site cluttered up with irrelevant comments, untruths and abuse.
In the past, the journalist’s job was to collect and distribute information to the audience. Technology means that readers can shape a discussion. We look forward to hearing from you on heraldscotland.com
Comments & Moderation
Readers’ comments: You are personally liable for the content of any comments you upload to this website, so please act responsibly. We do not pre-moderate or monitor readers’ comments appearing on our websites, but we do post-moderate in response to complaints we receive or otherwise when a potential problem comes to our attention. You can make a complaint by using the ‘report this post’ link . We may then apply our discretion under the user terms to amend or delete comments.
Post moderation is undertaken full-time 9am-6pm on weekdays, and on a part-time basis outwith those hours.
Read the rules here