Praise indeed

JOHN Sword tells us a friend is singing in a choir at Central Station this weekend to raise money for charity. It reminds him of another pal who did a similar stint at Queen Street Station a few years ago when, in the middle of Handel's Messiah, a wee Glasgow chap walking past commented: "Must be a train in on time."

Well trained

MORE on conversations with children as Stan Ireland says: "Got into a conversation with a very bright, young chatterbox who was sitting beside her mother on the train. When asked her age she replied, 'I'm five. Except when I'm on the train and I'm just four'. At this point her mother suggested that she stopped talking and leave the man to read his book."

Only rock'n'roll

THE Rolling Stones Story is on at Glasgow's King's Theatre in January with Paul Ashworth performing as Mick Jagger, and singing all the classics. Paul, said to be the best Jagger lookalike, tells us he is sometimes worried that some folk don't realise they are not actually the Stones. He told us: “I always feel intensely embarrassed when someone who thinks we’re the real deal insists on buying us all a drink and I try to gently put them right. While I do, Adrian, who is our Keith Richards, will be kicking my ankles progressively harder hissing, 'Shut up - free drinks!'”

Actually Adrian was performing at one theatre when he hopped down off the stage. Unfortunately he had misjudged the distance in the relative darkness and landed in a stack of stage props before climbing back a bit dazed. A rep from another theatre thought it was a drunken 'in character' move, and booked them.

May day

SO Theresa May was in Scotland yesterday, trying to sell her Brexit deal to the public. Says Keith Burge: "I've just heard it on the news described as Theresa May touring the country on a 'charm offensive'. I imagine that what she lacks in charm, she makes up for in offensive."

British are coming

AMIDST all the talk about Brexit making going abroad difficult for Brits, we should not forget what it is like for those coming into Britain. South African comedian Trevor Noah said in a recent interview that Britain had one of the most stressful border controls he had come across. Said Trevor: "The guy looks at me and says, 'So you're a comedian, you don't look funny'. I asked why he didn't believe me and he said, 'We can't just believe that you're gonna do what you say you're here to do, you might do something totally different'. I thought, 'Fair enough, that makes sense. I just wish, as Africans, we had thought of that when the British arrived, that would have served us well'."

Lightbulb moment

OUR stories about attending your first football match reminds Bob McKay in Cardonald: "In 1965 I took my wife, then my fiancee, to a Scotland Italy match at Hampden. She had only ever watched football on a black-and-white TV so when she looked at the floodlit pitch she gasped and called out, 'It's in technicolour!'"

Wrap it up

A READER phones to make the point: "I'm so glad that chocolate bars now have these resealable wrappers. It means I can enjoy half the bar now, and the other half in a couple of minutes."

No sweat

WE continue to be fascinated by America. A reader there gets in touch to tell us: "The council where I live spent $80,000 on a new school bus so kids wouldn't have to walk to school. This year they're spending $200,000 on a new school gymnasium so they can get some exercise."