Fair plaid

MANY a journalist is reminiscing about Hugh McIlvanney who has sadly died. He was quite simply the best sports journalist Scotland ever produced. As our old chum Graham Scott, formerly of the Evening Times recalled: "Switching from news reporting to sport, it seemed fair to wear a tartan scarf when covering my first Scotland game in the old sloping press box at Hampden. Not so, if the reaction of more experienced colleagues was right – that kind of thing was not done. Minutes later, door opens and in walks Hugh, doyen of sports writers, wearing – to my delight – a tartan scarf.

"He was welcomed warmly. And no one mentioned HIS scarf."

Sofa so good

GROWING old continued. Says a Bearsden reader: "I used to say to my husband of an evening, 'What do you want to watch on the telly?' Now I say to him, 'What do you want to fall asleep to?'"

Bottled it

OUR tales of distilleries reminded a retired police office: "In 1971 while a young member of the City of Glasgow Police I took part in a five-a-side football match between Bridgeton E division and Govan during the night shift within a bonded warehouse at the Govan docks. The game was won by E division and the trophy was a bucket of whisky which was transported precariously from the bond to Tobago Street police office without any spillage to be decanted into suitable containers."

Load of bull

WE read that plans have been submitted for 250 flats to be built at the old Glasgow Meat Market on Duke Street. We were once told by John Sword who worked there of a bull that escaped from the abattoir and was eventually cornered in the backcourt of a Gallowgate tenement. After the animal was safely secured, a wee wummin went up to the chap who put it in the lorry and said: "Are you in charge?" Thinking he was about to get a wee hawf or somesuch from a grateful local he cheerily confirmed he was.

"Well it's my turn furra sterrs - so you can clean up," she said and handed him a mop and bucket.

Bit fishy

READER Alice McLean muses: "As a society what point have we reached when my friend Archie-Bob McMillan who owns the fish shop in Campbeltown is forced to erect the disclaimer on his wall, 'Fish may contain bones'. Really?"

Cleaning up

OUR picture of the toy vacuum cleaner that had a picture of a cheery girl using it on the box, was making a point about gender stereotypes. But as Jen from Netherlee commented: "I'm incensed that there is such a thing as a toy cleaning trolley with, for example, a toy Hoover. Give your child the real one and set them to work."

By degree

AN AYRSHIRE reader claims that a member of his golf club told fellow players the other day: "My son graduated from Aberdeen University 10 years ago with a degree in gender studies. I now tell him it must have been a lot easier degree back then when there was only two of them to study."

When I'm 64

A BAILLIESTON reader emails: "Nicola Sturgeon has been asked to review the age of legal responsibility for criminal acts. Several suggestions have been supported but it's unlikely she will be able to act on the request to make it 65."