JULIAN Assange, sporting a distinctive long white beard, was bundled out of the Ecuadorian Embassy in London by a number of plain-clothes police officers yesterday and placed in a police van.

“Oh ****,” someone was impressively quick to observe on Twitter. “It looks like Christmas is cancelled this year. They’ve arrested Santa!”

Snacks alive!

ARRESTING typos of our time. A local newspaper in Texas reported that the Pflugerville Library’s forthcoming Anti Prom event (a safe space for teenagers to dance, it seems) would feature snakes.

Back came the library with a polite, if firm, correction. “There will be no snakes at this Friday’s Anti Prom event ...We will have snacks. Snacks is what we will have.”

Even so, the library was unable to resist a pun or two, saying that anyone wanting to know more about its future activities should not “hessssitate” to ring a certain number.

Rum tales, pt 1

RAB McNeil, in this space yesterday, invited readers to send in details of their weird concoctions of drinks.

James McGovern responds: “I remember when we were youngsters my mates and I would go to what Kevin Bridges refers to as an ‘empty’, where the parents are out, usually a Saturday night, so everyone goes there for an illicit under-age drink).

“We were drinking dark rum but ran out of Coke and couldn’t find any alternative mixers in the house.

“A tin of Creamola Foam was found, a jug made up - and thus was the ‘OVD and Raspberry Creamola Foam’ born...”

Rum tales, pt 2

AND Gordon Smith says: “Your story of milk concoctions reminds me of a party many moons ago. In the wee small hours, after most had departed or flaked out, four of us were left to contemplate the wreckage and sift through the dregs.

“We found a bottle of Navy Rum, seal unbroken, and sort of knew why it was untouched. Each of us had less than fond memories of the noxious tipple. Nonetheless - faint heart etc - it was all that remained and so it had to be drunk.

“There being no mixers left, someone suggested water, but that didn’t cut it. We tried it with milk - even worse.

“In a moment of inspiration, big Terry returned from the bathroom with a packet of Alka-Seltzer, popped one in his glass and we were away. Added bonus - no hangover!”

Gender swap

MANY thanks to the reader who sent us a screen-grab of a recent edition of the popular Sunday-morning BBC show, The Big Questions.

Wishing to find out more about the show, he pressed the ‘i’ button on his remote, and up came the following: “Nicky Campbell presents topical debate live from Hutcheson Grammar School in Glasgow. She asks her audience if they are defined by their country or their faith.”

Funny, says the reader. “Unless I’m very much mistaken,” he writes, “Nicky Campbell is a bloke.”

Warming up

ALAN Potter, on a visit to the Scottish Football Museum at Hampden, spotted an exhibit that he admits he has yet to see in any Scottish football ground.

“Certainly very thoughtful for our normal winter weather,”Alan says of the object in question - a rather nifty Fan Heater.