Bedroom secret

OUR tales of meeting your children's teachers remind Duncan McIntyre: "We went to the school parents' night, and while we were waiting our turn we noticed several people looking at the children’s work, then looking at us rather strangely. When our turn came we found daughter had written, 'My worst moment was when I woke up and found a strange man in mummy’s bedroom'. Nowhere had she said that mummy had appendicitis and that the man was the doctor."

Abbott's Choice

THE latest trivia emanating from politics is that Labour's Diane Abbott has apologised for sipping an alcoholic drink on a London train, which is apparently against the law. We did like the reaction of one Londoner who declared: "How embarrassing for Diane Abbott to be caught necking a tin of M&S Mojito on the train. She's lost all credibility for me.

"Any professional train commuter will confirm, you need at least a two litre bottle of gin and a good few shots to make the experience bearable."

Mean streets

AND talking of politics we are still entranced by Sajid Javid in the Tory Party trying to talk up his working class roots before his bid to become party leader. As reader Martin Morrison comments: "In response to Sajid Javid’s assertion that he had been raised in what a tabloid had described as the most dangerous street in the UK, residents of Stapleton Road in Bristol have told the Guardian that it has improved enormously since Mr Javid left. What could they possibly mean?"

An age thing

GROWING old, continued. A Troon reader tells us: "You know you’ve reached a certain age when every time you see a group of teenagers in the street you automatically stiffen up and think to yourself that 'they're up to something'."

Cracked it

GOOD to see the Herald on Sunday tell us that Dunoon, which is a bit run down these days we have to admit, wants to reinvent itself with a cable car to take you up the hill and zip slides to take the more energetic back down again. Nice folk in Dunoon though. We remember a reader passing time in a Dunoon charity shop where he was admiring a miniature model of the famous Liberty Bell in Philadelphia, complete with its equally famous fissure. When he asked the lady in the shop how much it was she said: "A pound." Then after investigting it further, she added: "Sorry son, it's got a crack in it. I'll only charge you 50p."


WE will always have room in the Diary for a mention of our favourite Scottish TV series, Tutti Frutti. Says reader John Dunlop: "Much said on actress Emma Thompson flying long haul to take part in a global warming protest in London. A case of pots calling Suzy Kettles black perhaps."

Hard to swallow

A BIT of jargon for you. In Tellyland when a news report involves a reporter quizzing more than one interviewee it is called a doughnut. Thus our contact at BBC Scotland tells us there were a few worried faces when an editor of a new programme the other day shouted out: "Does anyone want the sepsis doughnut?" No takers apparently until it dawned on newsroom staff what he was on about.