Not fare

OUR story about the old bus colours in Glasgow being revived reminds Hugh Steele in Cumbernauld: "One of the girls in our office came in one day with an orange top and a green skirt. The office wag said: 'You look like a Corpy bus dressed like that.' Her reply was, 'Aye, but ye'll no get jumpin' on me fer one and six'. It's ancient, I know, and you might have to explain what one and six was."

No Hugh, not to Diary readers we don't.

In the Grove

WE are slightly worried that The Grove in Kelvingrove Street, a cheap and cheery wee bar in trendy Finnieston, is getting a bit of a makeover as we wouldn't want it to lose its old-fashioned allure. We liked a recent review on TripAdvisor where someone wrote: "My sister's boyfriend recommended The Grove. It was a brilliant wee place. Drink dirt cheap for the area, served with a very friendly smile and generally a good atmosphere in it. The best part was upon leaving, the barmaid recognised my sister's boyfriend... and my sister is still grilling him as to why!"

Getting the needle

JUDITH Kerr, the great children's book author, has died at the age of 95. She cheerily told The Herald last year that she had a Do Not Resuscitate notice signed by her doctor which she kept in her hall, and explained: "Sometimes I feel like sticking it on the front door, but that's a bit much and a bit depressing for visitors." She then added with a smile: "Somebody said that the only way is to have 'Do Not Resuscitate' tattooed on your chest. But I never know exactly how to spell 'resuscitate'."

Colourful tale

HARD to keep track of them all, but the latest resignation from the Tory Government is Leader of the House Andrea Leadsom. Those with a sharp eye will have noticed that she signed her resignation letter to Theresa May in green ink. Said Joe: "The green pen, as used only by pre-teen girls writing diaries, or maniacs complaining to the BBC that they saw the devil on Poldark."

Bit of a pantomime

TALKING about Scottish actors, it's good to see Scots Alex Norton and David Hayman playing elderly Cockney crooks in the ITV mini-series on the Hatton Garden safe deposit robbery. As a Glasgow theatre-goer tells us: "As both Alex and David starred in Citizens Theatre pantos early in their career I half-expect one or the other to shout out 'He's behind you!' to scare the others into thinking the police had arrived."

An age thing

OUR quest to find the oldest pub in Scotland takes a turn across the water as Gordon Smith tells us: "I took part in one of those Dublin pub crawls and have this hazy memory of our 'guide' telling us, 'Dis is the ouldest pub in Ireland – and the second ouldest in Dublin'."

Jagged response

WELL, hope you all voted yesterday. Ray Cuthill took to verse to declare while the polling stations were open: "Want to know who is voting SNP today? It’s easy – just watch the body language. 'Some go to vote with a skip and a whistle/ Others look like they’ve licked p*** aff a thistle!'" Yes, almost Burnsian there, Ray.

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