UNLESS you have been in the fortunate position of being in outer space for the last few weeks, you will have no choice but to know there is a race on to replace Theresa May as leader of the Conservative Party. There is now just one week to go till the votes are tallied, so let the countdown begin…
What if I’ve just had enough of it all and don’t want to hear any more about it?
You really need to go into outer space.
OK, so is it really a race at all?
Probably not. Boris Johnson has been the frontrunner since the running began. Jeremy Hunt is hanging in there, keeping on going even through the hard times when his surname has been “accidentally” mispronounced.
Is Boris a dead cert?
He took a hit last week for his role in Sir Kim Darroch’s decision to resign as UK ambassador to Washington, in the wake of email leaks revealing his criticism of President Trump. In an ITV debate, Johnson refused to defend Darroch.
Sir Alan Duncan, the Foreign Office minister, was among those who were livid, saying Johnson “has basically thrown our top diplomat under the bus”.
When did the voting begin?
July 6, but of course, it’s only open to the Conservative Party’s 160,000 members, despite the fact that the person they choose as leader will also step into Number 10.
The final deadline for party members to vote is Sunday. Tory officials will spend Monday tallying up the tens of thousands of votes cast, with the candidate achieving more than 50 per cent declared winner, most likely revealed on Tuesday.
When does Theresa May take her leave?
She is expected to speak at her final Prime Minister’s Questions on Wednesday, before heading to Buckingham Palace to resign.
What have both candidates said of Scotland?
Both have pledged to protect the union.
Jeremy said: “I’ve got Welsh blood, Irish blood and spent two happy years of my childhood in Scotland. I will never allow our union to be broken up.”
But on a visit to Peterhead, he also sipped Irn Bru for the cameras and then said he couldn’t comment on the new recipe because “I’m not a regular Irn Bru drinker”.
Meanwhile, Boris referred to deep fried Mars Bars at the Tory hustings in Perth, because, you know, all Scots have a deep fried Mars Bar up their sleeves.
Can you get through this without mentioning the other “B” word?
Sorry, no. Jeremy voted remain but the foreign secretary now says there is a prospect of doing a better deal with the EU.
Boris vows he will take the UK out of the EU on October 31 “do or die”.
Meanwhile, journalists UK-wide cannot recall what they used to write about before Brexit.
We’ve also learned a litle more about the candidates recently - Boris likes to make models of buses?
Yes, he said: “I like to paint. I make things. I make models. I make models of buses. I get old wooden crates and I paint them, and they have to contain two wine bottles. And it will have a dividing thing. And I turn it into a bus and I put passengers... you really want to know this? I paint the passengers enjoying themselves. On a wonderful bus.”
He also paints delicate compositions of his family on wooden cheese boxes that once held Brie and Camembert.
Jeremy loves the lambada?
Apparently. As a newly elected MP in 2005, he admitted dancing the lambada was his hobby and said: “My lifetime’s ambition is to be on Strictly Come Dancing.”
Let’s see what happens next week, eh?
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