He came, he saw, he condescended. The best that can be said of the Prime Minister’s recent Scottish sortie, is that it gave him another opportunity to dip into his dressing up box.

In Livingston, Bob the Builder gave way to Beaker from the Muppets. The stage-managed photo opportunity misfired though, revealing a ham-fisted bloke getting in the way of people who actually knew what they’re doing.

For Mr Johnson, no visit to the outside world is complete without an, “I mean this most sincerely” moment. He was able to pat our collective head and assure us, despite our dependency culture, we’re truly valued. When doing sincere, Mr Johnson brings to mind Bob Monkhouse’s epigram, “The secret of success is sincerity; if you can fake that, you’ve got it made”.

Mr Johnson’s performance also deepened the mystery of how his government continues to defy gravity. He leads a party tainted by Brexit, has spectacularly mismanaged the response to Covid and presides over a national debt, give or take the odd billion, now somewhere north of £1,876 billion. And we’re told the Scottish economy is a basket case. Chumocracy runs through Mr Johnson’s administration like lettering through a stick of rock. In Mr Johnson’s world, truth is malleable and the poor are simply acceptable collateral damage. Yet, despite it all, aggregated UK opinion polls suggest that his failed administration still holds a narrow lead.

Read more: Economy: Fishing: We’ve been well and truly done by Brexit

As was transparently obvious, Mr Johnson used Covid as a smoke screen to conceal the real purpose of his “essential” trip; to bolster the Union. The lack of self-awareness that he is a large part of the Unionists’ problem, is astonishing.

Douglas Ross, the Tories’ Scottish flag waver, must have groaned when Mr Johnson declared that “wild horses” won’t prevent him from campaigning in the upcoming Holyrood election. Like all prime ministers, Mr Johnson is desperate to secure his place in history. Having lost both credibility and grasp of reality, he’s even more desperate to avoid the soubriquet, “the man who lost the Union”.

Self-appointment as Minister for the Union is the icing on the separatist cake. Despite the SNP’s self-inflicted travails, support for independence remains consistently strong. That’s only partly due to distaste for the Prime Minister and Scottish Secretary. Yes, they’re unmistakably plummy toffs, but it goes beyond individual personalities. It’s much more what they represent. Talk of levelling up is transparent, cynical rhetoric. Over the years successive Tory prime ministers have presided over growing unfairness and inequality. Their only success has been concealment of serial incompetence through blaming something or someone else. If it’s not the EU, it’s immigrants or doomsters. Work and Pensions Secretary, the svelte Therese Coffey, even managed to blame the old and fat for the UK’s shameful Covid death rate.

Read more: Pandemic: Lockdown: Covid deniers should be held to account

Polling north of the Border suggests what the Prime Minister represents has been rumbled. Yet some Scots cling, rather touchingly, to the belief that a blatantly London-focused government has all our best interests at heart.

Bewilderingly, Labour’s new strategy to wrap itself in the flag and patriotism provokes disbelief and despair. What happened to fairness and social justice? If that’s the best it can up with, the “Boris factor” in England will keep the Conservatives in office for the foreseeable future, leaving the most vulnerable increasingly exposed to more neo-liberal dogma.

Conversely, that factor is fuelling the remarkably consistent support for independence. The increasingly desperate assaults by Scottish Unionists on Holyrood and the independence movement in general, suggest that even they realise the game’s a bogey.

Unionists, including Mr Johnson, repeatedly tell us that the “Scottish people” want neither referendum nor independence. If that’s the case, it’s hard to fathom why they’re not saying “bring it on”. A second No vote would stop the independence movement in its tracks, as it did in Quebec. Best of three anyone?

 

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