THE first reviews of new film The Batman are in. And they’re … mixed. The film, directed by Matt Reeves, and starring Robert Pattinson in the title role, is a nearly three-hour-long epic which has drawn raves and brickbats before it arrives in our cinemas later this week.

Another Batman movie. How many is that now?

Depends on how canonical you want to be. Michael Keaton starred in the Tim Burton movies Batman (1989) and Batman Returns (1992). Val Kilmer donned the cape in the little-liked Batman Forever (1995), while George Clooney followed him in 1997's Batman & Robin, which was seen as even worse than its predecessor.
Christian Bale then starred in the Christopher Nolan Dark Knight trilogy, which kicked off with Batman Begins (2005). More recently, Ben Affleck had a go at the part in Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice and Justice League. And we haven’t even mentioned the Second World War serials, Adam West’s TV incarnation of Batman (which also had a big screen spin-off), and various animated versions including, of course, The Lego Batman Movie.

What’s the score this time around?

Oh, crime and corruption in Gotham City. Paul Dano plays the Riddler as a sadistic killer, Pattinson sounds very serious (his interpretation has already been described as “emo Batman”) and everyone seems to like Zoe Kravitz as Catwoman.

In short, possibly best not to expect Batman hanging from a helicopter while being attacked by a rubber shark (Adam West’s finest moment, of course).

So, what have the critics made of it then?

It’s been loved and loathed. Empire magazine’s John Nugent hailed it as “a gripping, beautifully shot, neo-noir take on an age-old character”. But the Times film critic Kevin Maher dismissed the film’s “moody self-importance” and labelled Pattinson’s Batman “a pouty emo brat”.

Does Glasgow get a mention? Part of the film was shot here, you know.

Who’s asking the questions here? But, yes, you are right. The Necropolis and Glasgow streets stood in for Gotham City. Pattinson even described it as a “brilliant Gotham,” which is not necessarily a compliment in the circumstances.

Go on then, who’s your favourite Batman?

Ah, I’d have to say it would be writer Steve Englehart and artist Marshall Rogers’ take on the character in Detective Comics in the late 1970s because … Oh, sorry, you meant in the movies? I don’t have a favourite Batman, but Zoe Kravitz is going to have to be really good to outshine Michelle Pfeiffer as Catwoman in Batman Returns.