THEY’LL never compete with Jagger and Richards, but Holyrood’s own ‘Nic and Keef’ can still put on an entertaining show. All they have to do is disagree with each other.
Luckily, Ms Sturgeon and her SNP deputy are naturals.
Last week, Keith Brown announced there would be a new Scottish currency after independence, provoking scepticism, criticism but precious little enthusiasm from his own side. His opponents were almost as upset.
This week, it emerged he had been telling randoms in Aberdeen that if the SNP wanted to have a second independence referendum, it could damn well have one, whatever the UK Government and the legal nerds said.
This is not SNP policy. In fact, it’s the opposite of the tune Nic has been singing.
At FMQs, Tory Jackson Carlaw was quick to exploit the band’s creative differences.
“Another independence referendum is the last thing Scotland needs. Irrespective of the views of her errant deputy, will the First Minister rule out that divisive plan?”
At that word “errant,” Keef’s other half, equalities minister Christina McKelvie, started rocking alarmingly with laughter. Errant? As if!
But Nic was unamused. “The legal basis for the next independence referendum should be the same as the basis for the last independence referendum,” she said, making it clear there would be no wildcat vote, whatever her dopey deputy was putting about up north.
Ms McKelvie’s laughter suddenly dried to a croak.
Ms Sturgeon then focused on her other irritant. All this Indyref2 talk was caused by anti-democratic Tories denying the people a say, she went on.
“We can always tell when the Tories are in trouble, because pantomime Jackson Carlaw makes a reappearance.
“The face gets red and the arms get waved about.”
Mr Carlaw, whose Dr Octopus limbs and beetroot puss are indeed natural wonders, looked wounded.
The FM had managed to get under his cochineal skin.
“The whole chamber knows that in two short years Ruth Davidson will be sitting where the First Minister sits today,” he thundered, “and a Scottish Conservative First Minister will be answering questions for a long time to come!”
The ensuing laughter from the rest of the chamber seemed to go on longer than Exile on Main Street.
Nic and Keef, you’re a hit.
Why are you making commenting on The Herald only available to subscribers?
It should have been a safe space for informed debate, somewhere for readers to discuss issues around the biggest stories of the day, but all too often the below the line comments on most websites have become bogged down by off-topic discussions and abuse.
heraldscotland.com is tackling this problem by allowing only subscribers to comment.
We are doing this to improve the experience for our loyal readers and we believe it will reduce the ability of trolls and troublemakers, who occasionally find their way onto our site, to abuse our journalists and readers. We also hope it will help the comments section fulfil its promise as a part of Scotland's conversation with itself.
We are lucky at The Herald. We are read by an informed, educated readership who can add their knowledge and insights to our stories.
That is invaluable.
We are making the subscriber-only change to support our valued readers, who tell us they don't want the site cluttered up with irrelevant comments, untruths and abuse.
In the past, the journalist’s job was to collect and distribute information to the audience. Technology means that readers can shape a discussion. We look forward to hearing from you on heraldscotland.com
Comments & Moderation
Readers’ comments: You are personally liable for the content of any comments you upload to this website, so please act responsibly. We do not pre-moderate or monitor readers’ comments appearing on our websites, but we do post-moderate in response to complaints we receive or otherwise when a potential problem comes to our attention. You can make a complaint by using the ‘report this post’ link . We may then apply our discretion under the user terms to amend or delete comments.
Post moderation is undertaken full-time 9am-6pm on weekdays, and on a part-time basis outwith those hours.
Read the rules here