If you're Govey and you know it...

MICHAEL Gove came to Holyrood’s finance committee on Thursday, where it emerged one thing that doesn’t need levelling up is his ego. A popular internet clip of Mr Gove shows him clapping so wildly at a Tory conference that he throws in a weird flurry of beats like a seal with a dislocated flipper. To the untrained eye, it is not remotely flattering. However Mr Gove seems to think differently. After the Aberdonian gave a well-crafted answer to a tricky question, Unspun’s mole spotted his officials sending the clapping clip to his phone, apparently to congratulate him. Or perhaps begging him not to applaud himself.


Sell Gibson

THE UK Government heavyweight tried his best to charm grumpy convener Kenny Gibson. After being quizzed about post-Brexit funding deals, Mr Gove pointed out the veteran Nat’s own Cunninghame North constituency has been one of the winners. Mr Gove admitted that if Mr Gibson boosted his majority at the next election due to the cash, he would “have to take it on the chin”. We doubt Douglas Ross would approve of that election strategy.  


Jenny pinching

NEWBIE Transport Minister Jenny Gilruth endured a passive aggressive masterclass in another committee on Tuesday. After she repeatedly turned to her officials for help about the workplace parking levy, Labour MSP Monica Lennon noted with concern that she was “struggling to give us some basic answers” and relying on her staff. “It must be challenging to take on a brand new brief,” she sympathised. “I think that we all want to cheer you on in that, because the issues you’re grappling with are so important.” Ouch! Green Mark Russell broke the tension, stating the discussion on the levy had been ”a complete waste of time”. Only if you dislike blood sports.


Sick at a carrot

NAT MP Pete Wishart is dragging the Commons committee he chairs to a garden centre next week for a “fact-finding mission” on horticulture workers. And definitely not because it's near his Perthshire constituency and he gets longer in bed. But is it without risk? Mr Wishart was recently goaded with carrots by Alba party members, who said it symbolised the Indyref2 carrot endlessly dangled by the SNP. He went tonto. Perhaps the approaching vegetables carry a trigger warning?


Russian about

Former LibDem leader Sir Vince Cable going on Russian TV caused Scots boss Alex Cole-Hamilton much agony, as he says the same RT channel is pro-Putin propaganda. However ACH's plucky spindoctor Max Sefton toured Holyrood to claim it had actually been a big win, as it let ACH look powerful by saying it was “entirely wrong”. A good effort. But alas the new Holyrood magazine then arrived featuring ACH saying he’d like Boney M’s Rasputin played at his funeral. Really, how many Russophiles are there in this party?