As imagined by Brian Beacom
WHAT? Yes, I know as an arch republican, the John Lennon of Scottish politics in fact, I’ve been getting a little bit of grief this week, on account of not showing enough sorrow about the death of the Queen.
When I declared that life isn’t all about status or titles and I attacked the privileged, someone Tweeted: ‘You’re a privileged wee irritant yourself, Patrick. Privileged in that you’re allowed into government at all.’
Well, for your information, that’s not exactly the case. Me and Lorna have only been allowed into two key meetings out of 43 since the ‘alliance’ – and one of those came after I offered to bring pizza.
But the big question is, you’re wondering why would I not kneel before a King who is greener than a Tommy Burns Remembrance night in the Gallowgate?
Well, Charles III won’t be Green any more, will he? And will the new King become a one-bar electric fire man like his dear Mama? I don’t think so. And is he going to tell Ms Truss to frack off?
On a personal level, how can I show utmost respect for such a moany face?
Honestly, such a fuss about a bit of a wee bit of pen leakage. Just imagine the leakage Nicola has had to endure over the years such as the loss of key party members like Joanna who dared to stand up to her. Nic just blots up the criticism.
Have I been tin-eared when it comes to the public mood, that the depth of emotion for the late Queen can be measured in ten-mile worship queues?
Look, don’t talk to me about queues. I’m the man prepared to stand in line each morning in a very busy café in the Royal Mile for Nicola’s double espresso. And then again at Greggs for her two vegan sausage rolls, which she sometimes allows me a wee nibble at.
And I’m the man standing in line to bow as she exits the front door each day.
Okay, you may have a point that my time could have been better spent on drawing attention to the fact Liz Truss’s leadership campaign was partly funded by the wife of a BP executive. I could have been talking of how I’m going to negotiate Cambo. Or I should be hitting out at the cap being removed on banker’s bonuses?
Maybe, but that doesn’t mean I am not prepared to show reverence for the denouement of a magnificent era, to honour the poignant ending of a person whose sheer eminence has been inarguable, who’s elegance and dignity immeasurable.
I believe Roger Federer to have been created by the Greek gods themselves.
Even if he sometimes kicked the a*** out of his electric fire.
Why are you making commenting on The Herald only available to subscribers?
It should have been a safe space for informed debate, somewhere for readers to discuss issues around the biggest stories of the day, but all too often the below the line comments on most websites have become bogged down by off-topic discussions and abuse.
heraldscotland.com is tackling this problem by allowing only subscribers to comment.
We are doing this to improve the experience for our loyal readers and we believe it will reduce the ability of trolls and troublemakers, who occasionally find their way onto our site, to abuse our journalists and readers. We also hope it will help the comments section fulfil its promise as a part of Scotland's conversation with itself.
We are lucky at The Herald. We are read by an informed, educated readership who can add their knowledge and insights to our stories.
That is invaluable.
We are making the subscriber-only change to support our valued readers, who tell us they don't want the site cluttered up with irrelevant comments, untruths and abuse.
In the past, the journalist’s job was to collect and distribute information to the audience. Technology means that readers can shape a discussion. We look forward to hearing from you on heraldscotland.com
Comments & Moderation
Readers’ comments: You are personally liable for the content of any comments you upload to this website, so please act responsibly. We do not pre-moderate or monitor readers’ comments appearing on our websites, but we do post-moderate in response to complaints we receive or otherwise when a potential problem comes to our attention. You can make a complaint by using the ‘report this post’ link . We may then apply our discretion under the user terms to amend or delete comments.
Post moderation is undertaken full-time 9am-6pm on weekdays, and on a part-time basis outwith those hours.
Read the rules hereLast Updated:
Report this comment Cancel