On Saturday, a man who as recently as June 2021 was the United Kingdom’s Secretary of State for Health and Social Care reached the final of ‘I’m A Celebrity…Get Me Out Of Here!’. 

The following night, ITV’s official ‘I’m A Celebrity…’ account tweeted: “His arrival turned heads, but his triumphant return from Trials kept Camp smiling. Matt Hancock is leaving the jungle in third place”. 

‘Turned heads’, but not in a ‘thousands of needless deaths turned heads’ or ‘health secretary breaking his own social distancing rules turned heads’ way, of course.

Matt Hancock? I’m not really a politics person, so I just know him as the guy who apparently did something wrong a while back but has been acting really humble in the jungle and, you know what, I think everyone deserves a second chance.

Yeah, you’ve been his target audience for the past three weeks.

What do you mean?

The sort of person who just sees politics as another TV show with goodies, baddies and no real-life consequences. 

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So what has Hancock done that supposedly makes his appearance on the show inappropriate?

An estimated 29,000 excess deaths in UK care homes on his watch. Accusations of cronyism after a £40 million NHS Test and Trace contract was secured by his former neighbour, who had no previous experience of producing medical supplies. Being caught on CCTV passionately kissing a colleague, in a simultaneous breach of his marriage and social distancing rules.

You mean the social distancing rules created by his own party? That’s embarrassing. 


Who was the Health Secretary responsible for creating those rules that Hancock so shamelessly flouted?

I’d have to check Wikipedia, but I’m sure whoever it was would have had a frank conversation with Hancock about his conduct.

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And now he’s trying to make the public forget all about that by appearing on the jungle show?

Yep. Hancock took a few weeks out of representing his constituents in West Suffolk to sing his redemption song on reality TV.

Couldn’t that be seen as Hancock neglecting the people who elected him, solely for the purpose of rehabilitating his reputation? 

Calling that the only reason for his appearance is pretty cynical.

Fair enough. What’s the other reason?

He’s reportedly been paid £400,000. 

So, this is the template for managing political scandals? Just wait until it dies down then look a bit sad while munching camel penis and all is forgiven?

COMING SOON: ‘Yes, the whole £29m PPE thing looks dodgy, but Michelle Mone’s stunning pasodoble makes her a deserving winner of this year’s Strictly Come Dancing’.