A colossus of Tory thinking has attacked the Scottish Government for its diplomatic and trade efforts abroad. Should the First Minister back down in the face of the challenge from Baron Frost? Should he heck. In fact, Scotland could be a lot cuter in the way it represents this country abroad.

First things first though. Lord David Frost has been described as the Brexit negotiator who “numbed the senses” and was – to his eternal discredit – a backer of Liz Truss in last year’s Tory leadership contest. Lettuce and all that.

Before that, he quit Boris Johnson’s cabinet over its Covid restrictions, net-zero ambitions and tax rises – he is that right wing – and urged Rishi Sunak to move away from “medieval technology” like wind power, saying there is no evidence the world faces a climate emergency. Take that in.

Last August the Baron declared that Scotland and Wales aren’t nations, the UK should become a “unitary state” again with devolution “evolved back” (I think evolution just goes one way, Dave) and another independence referendum made “impossible” until 75% of seats are won at Holyrood - over an entire decade.

Two weeks ago, Lord Frost was cock-a-hoop at the latest Indo-Pacific trade deal which could boost the economy by a whole 0.08%. This, apparently, vindicates Brexiters and silences Remainers. Purlease.

Now, it’s not my style to play the man instead of the argument – which does indeed follow. But this man would struggle to get elected in Scotland or command a nano-second of airtime, but for his Lordly status.

So, is there a real case to be made for Scottish Government ministers staying at home, or being “supervised” on foreign trips, as Foreign Secretary James Cleverly suggested in a recent memo to ambassadors and High Commission officials?

If there is, someone should have mentioned it to the Conservatives who created Scotland’s Brussels office back in the 1990s, or the Scottish Labour FM who authorised its expansion in the noughties, Baron Jack McConnell (don’t these Barons ever chat in the ermine queue?)

Someone in Tory HQ might also ponder how Scotland can have “the most powerfully devolved parliament in the world” while its ministers are treated like tearaway teenagers on a foreign trip. Equally, how do other devolved administrations across the world manage to have their own missions abroad – with state approval?

Since Lord Frost was our ambassador to Denmark for two years, he will know the Danish Faroe Islands can sign international treaties, so they are outside the EU, whilst mother-ship Denmark is inside. It works. Plus, Faroese missions in Brussels, Reykjavík, London, Moscow, Beijing and Tel Aviv have diplomatic status, granted by the Danish Ministry of Foreign Affairs. That’s what respect looks like.

So how should the Scottish Government respond to being telt by the Foreign Secretary? Scotland’s External Affairs Secretary Angus Robertson says Mr Cleverly has not been able to provide a single example of ministers acting inappropriately. But that kinda suggests there’s not much point toeing their line. Clearly, with the first ever use of the Section 35 veto on Holyrood legislation, Rishi Sunak has decided to get tough.

So maybe it’s time for Humza Yousaf to meet that challenge head on. If ministers are going to get pelters for essentially being SNP politicians abroad – since it was perfectly acceptable activity for past ministers of other stripes – then why not push the boat out a little?

What do ex-Barcelona FC captain, Lionel Messi, world-famous cellist Pablo Casals, the Firefighters Department of Barcelona and the Institute for Catalan Studies have in common? They are all recipients of the Creu de Sant Jordi (Saint George’s Cross) inaugurated in 1981 to recognise individuals who’ve protected Catalan identity. Somehow, this little nation, denied the right to self-determination by mighty Madrid manages to operate its own distinctive honours system.

Which rather raises the question – why not here? Our own honours system would let us honour Scots who cannae thole association with the monarchy, empire or a place in the world’s second largest unelected chamber.

Meanwhile, cultural diplomacy has been growing apace in Catalonia despite the imprisonment of political leaders and stalled political process after the declaration of independence in 2017, promoting the region’s unique language, political aspirations and cultural heritage.

The Public Diplomacy Council of Catalonia (or Diplocat) is a public-private consortium set up by the Catalan government in 2013 to promote international awareness of Catalonia and it has experience of “walking the line” having organised academic events to discuss the Catalan independence process in universities around the world in 2017, including Lisbon, Princeton, Cambridge, Tokyo and Stockholm.

Partly as a result, Diplocat was dramatically “liquidated” along with Catalonia’s foreign “delegations” in Germany, France, Switzerland, the UK, Ireland, Austria, Italy, the EU and the USA when the Spanish Government declared direct rule in the wake of the “illegal” declaration of independence.

But Diplocat bounced back. When direct rule was lifted in 2018, one of the first acts of the new Catalan President Quim Torra was to reactivate Diplocat with new staff, which was brave. The Spanish Constitution reserves external action exclusively to the government of Spain so a “public diplomacy council” in Catalonia is controversial, and leaves staff at risk of arrest and imprisonment even though activities toe the Madrid line.

In 2019, Diplocat organised an international forum on the integration of refugees within the European Union – a field in which Scotland actually has far greater expertise. They set up a master’s degree in diplomacy and foreign affairs, held meetings with foreign MPs to promote debate on the Catalan “right to decide”, participated in electoral observation missions to other countries including Cuba, carried out digital diplomacy on social media, created the Catalan Business Diplomacy Award for companies that identify as Catalan and embarked on international cultural diplomacy through press trips around St Jordi’s Day, when Catalan town and village squares are full of roses and books – the traditional exchange on April 23rd to celebrate their patron saint.

But Diplocat’s biggest protection is its funding. The biggest backer isn’t the Catalan Government, it is just one of 33 institutions including private companies, cooperatives, chambers of commerce, regional governments, councils, universities, trade unions, banks and Barcelona FC.

Scotland has nothing similar – just a clutch of self-funded, thinktanks that struggle on with volunteer effort. A DiploScot effort is long overdue.

If the Scottish Government is serious about Scottish trade, identity and self-determination, we must be internationally visible. Maybe it’s time to adopt my late mother’s adage – hung for a sheep as a lamb. Hopefully, non-Highlanders will also get the drift.