In a pre-Christmas announcement issued jointly with the Office of the Secretary of State for Scotland – one which should have been headed ‘Oh yes we can!’ but was actually titled ‘Oh no it isn’t!’ – the UK government’s Department of Culture, Media and Sport announced it was ratifying a 20-year-old UNESCO convention and opening a public consultation on an associated subject.

The convention relates to the safeguarding of what the United Nations’ cultural body terms Intangible Heritage, defined by the UK government as “practices, and traditions which are recognised as being a key part of national life and providing a sense of identity to communities.” The plan is for a “new register of cultural heritage” in the UK to be compiled as part of an “official inventory” because, you know, who doesn’t love an official inventory?

For the record, the Scottish Government has been asking for UK ratification of said convention since at least 2018. The headline-grabber was that the great British theatrical tradition which is the pantomime could be included on the register, news to delight anyone who has ever screamed ‘Behind you!’ at Jimmy Krankie from the cheap sets in Glasgow’s Pavilion Theatre.

It will delight Meera Syal, too. She revealed in an interview this week that being taken to see a production of Dick Whittington in Stoke some time in the 1970s was what made her want to become an actor. Let’s take a flyer and assume the show starred Les Dawson as Widow Twankey, then ask: how’s that for a Eureka! moment?

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By the way, if you haven’t had your fix of outrageous double entendres there’s still time. This year’s panto offering at the Pavilion is Treasure Island and has a fortnight to run before it’s elbowed off the stage by a Taylor Swift Eras Tour tribute night.

The Scottish public – that’s us – is being “encouraged” to propose traditions and activities such as, for example, Hogmanay, Shetland’s Up Helly Aa, the pagan Yuletide celebrations or more recent arrivals on the Scottish cultural scene such as the Edinburgh Mela and the Edinburgh Fringe. I doubt any government of any flavour is going to want to accord UNESCO status to something it’s going to have to cut funding for a few years down the line, such as a festival. But Hogmanay seems safe enough as we’re generally happy to pay for it ourselves – usually at whichever supermarket checkout desk is closest to the booze aisle.

Among the other suggestions for Scottish practices and traditions which might be included on a new register are Burns Night, ceilidhs, Common riding, bagpipe playing and Highland dancing. Wider UK activities proposed are things such as carol singing and sea shanties.

The Herald: Elaine C Smith in pantoElaine C Smith in panto (Image: free)

Pleasingly, some of this stuff has already been recognised, celebrated and (to a degree) co-opted by more cutting edge artists and musicians. Former Airdrie postman Nathan Evans had a viral hit in 2020 when he posted a clip of him singing a sea shanty on social media. Released as a single in 2021, Wellerman (Sea Shanty) hit the top spot in the UK and six other countries, going double platinum and undergoing the attentions of a remix duo from London.

Glasgow-born artist Susan Philipsz is another fan of sea shanties and folk songs. She won the 2010 Turner Prize for a sound installation featuring her rendition of traditional sea-song Lowlands Away – played over a tannoy under a Glasgow bridge. In 2015 she used war damaged brass instruments from the Imperial War Museum’s collection to mount another sound installation at Tate Britain.

Fellow artist and 2004 Turner Prize winner Jeremy Deller once took a similar approach with his Acid Brass project, a collaboration with a Stockport-based brass band. They teamed up to perform brass versions of house music classics such as Pacific 202 by 808 State, and Voodoo Ray by A Guy Called Gerald. Both acts are from Manchester, Deller’s point being that the working class communities whose kids drove acid house and rave culture were the same ones which produced generations of works and colliery bands.

But where do you draw the line in all this? Which “community traditions” are acceptable for this “register” and which are not? Outdoor raves made a comeback during lockdown and that important youth subculture has been celebrated in its own right in other works by Jeremy Deller, as well as in books and TV documentaries. You could say a rave is a ceilidh of sorts, just with different music. But this, remember, is an activity a different Conservative government tried to criminalise with its now-notorious Criminal Justice and Public Order Act of 1994.

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Could terrace chants, that form of semi-improvised mass singing birthed in British football grounds, be given UNESCO status? Could drill music? Again, I doubt it. Perhaps our intangible heritage is only worth the stamp of approval when it’s deemed proper, safe or unthreatening.