5am.
An Eaglet leaves The Herald's nest to watch the first ball being struck in the 142nd Open Championship. Lloyd Saltman promptly clunks two balls so far out of bounds their flight is monitored by the RAF as a possible referendum-inspired missile attack on England. One Eaglet is particularly disconsolate as Saltman scribbles an 8 on his scorecard. "I backed him to be top Scot," he says, ripping up a bookies' line at 6.45am on the opening day.
How douce is Muirfield? Bald Eagle presented himself for the breakfast of champions, asking for ham and eggs. "I think you'll find it is bacon," said the waitress with a sniff.
The men-only debate consumed a large chunk of the transcript of the R&A pre-championship news conference. Strangely, the stenographer has recorded that Alex Hammond had written to the governing body. Quite what the wondrous Hammond, the horse racing expert for Sky Sports, had to say on the matter remains a matter for conjecture.
And how is this for a succinct summation of life in 2013. "On the Saturday morning when the guy gets up or the lady gets up and out of the marital bed, if you like, and goes off and plays golf with his chums and comes back in the afternoon, that's not on any kind of par with racial discrimination or anti-Semitism or any of these things. It's just what people kind of do." A snapshot of the way we live by Peter Dawson, chief executive of the R&A.
The obligatory story about PWT (Paddy) Hamner, one-time secretary at Muirfield. He was once briefing a US professional on the etiquette of playing the course. He then turned to give the same instructions to Dave Marr, the 1965 USPGA champion. Marr politely informed Hamner that the briefing was unnecessary as he had heard everything the secretary had told his colleague. "You will listen again," said Hamner. He did.
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