MY evil overlords at work are forcing me to cover Barcelona’s league match on Saturday ahead of Celtic going there next week which means I am missing a mate’s wedding bash.
He is a former Ibrox season ticket holder, he doesn’t go so much these days because his daughters selfishly demand so much of his time, but remains a Rangers fan.
His best mate so happens to follow Celtic and is still a regular attender at games. The lad who is getting married has a big brother whose best mate from school is a Celtic supporter. In fact, as he constantly points out, “most of my pals are bloody Tims”.
When we drag our increasingly repulsive bodies around a five-aside pitch, my own now resembles dropped lasagne, nobody wears any colours because the youngest is in his late thirties and fully grown men in football tops is just weird.
As is the case with the fives, you pick up waifs and strays along the way to make up numbers and there are a few tattoos and nicknames, Bluenose Peter was a decent playmaker a few years back, which give away where their allegiances lie.
One lad was simply called Timmy because he was Irish.
There have never been any fights, huge arguments or massive fall-outs about the football. Indeed, when the Old Firm games took place pre-2012, and this will start up again now, there tended to be a Celtic and Rangers end of someone’s living room as beer was drank, pals slagged and whoever’s team won got a curry bought for them.
Religion and sectarianism rarely got a mention unless it was a joke. Both subjects are worthy of mockery. My lot are not the churchy kind. If there is a bad fire then we have all pre-booked our place. Football is important – hey, it helps pay my wages – but there are a lot more important things in life.
So tell me this. Is it that my band of friends, who come from all background and denominations, are the only people who see Celtic against Rangers as a sporting evening and, erm, that’s about it?
No hate, no bile, no singing offensive songs in the street. No arguments over whether Rangers are deid or if the Old Firm still exists, which these days seems to be more important than why so many of our population are relying on food banks just to feed their families.
I ask this because as a journalist, of sorts, I spend way too much of my time on social media, especially Twitter, and going by some on there, but certainly not all, this football fixture no matter how you class it these days is attended by the kind of person you would walk across the street to avoid even if they were wearing the same scarf.
On one side you have those who accuse every Celtic fan of being a rampant member of the IRA who are not only “mhanky” but also “Bheasts”. How charming.
And then there are bloggers who describe Rangers fans as “the klan”. You know, the Ku Klux Klan. Seriously.
You can’t move on Twitter for fans' groups on both sides, who claim to represent their club’s supporters, spouting the most backwards, nonsensical, sectarian guff you will ever have the misfortune to read.
They will go on about 1690, 1916 and many glorify the Troubles as if that period in the history of Northern Ireland is worthy of it; and that’s before we get to what that has to do with football.
What is it like in the 17th century? I’m told the food is rotten.
I was given posh tickets for the 2009 Old Firm League Cup Final and, romantic that I am, took the missus. We walked through the Rangers fans to the game, a few zoomers but most were just ordinary folk going to a game, and sat close to the Celtic end, which was exactly the same.
There were one or two about who the good lady felt the need to ask: “Where are these people the rest of the week?” But for the most part it was fine. Not perhaps an occasion for everyone, many of the songs and chants do cross a line; however, most of the people at that game, and this will be the case on Saturday, are actually decent folk.
A naughty song or word might slip out but just like my lot, they will leave the game, text their pal from the other side, they’ll then meet up, exchange a few barbs, have a pint and get down to the more important matters of the day.
Those who love the hate, and that’s what it is, who see the other side as an enemy while failing to acknowledge any bad apples within their own support, are a minority but also the problem. They tend to lead the narrative because they shout loudly even if the words belong in another era which the vast majority of this country wants nothing to do with.
I have spent my entire life among supporters of both clubs and apart from one or two incidents – because there will always be those defying evolution – everyone gets on. They work together, hang out with one another and, horror of horrors, some even get married.
The bigots are still out there but their days are coming to an end.
Folks, it’s time to grow up and move on. If you are one who refuses to be friends with anyone from the other background then you are missing out. Some Tims/Bluenoses are honestly a right laugh. They even get the curry in when their team loses.
Or you can stay in the dark ages with your songs, beliefs, and inability to realise that in 2016 you are the odd ones out. Which is fair enough in a way, as long as you keep your boring nonsense to yourselves.
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