BRUNO Alves is cheerfully rattling through his lengthy rap sheet of derby day misdemeanours. The 35-year-old, it turns out, has been banished against Benfica, seen red in Russia, and had to take an early bath on the Bosphorus. It all makes for a rather diverting backstory considering the Rangers central defender is closing in on his first experience of the Old Firm fixture at Ibrox on September 23, a match presaged by two versions of another Glasgow variant, back-to-back league and cup meetings against Partick Thistle.
"I have had some red cards in these games," admits Alves, his demeanour modulating somewhere between sheepishness and pride. "In Portugal, I have one in Porto-Benfica, in Russia I have one in Zenit v Spartak Moscow which is also a big derby, and two times in derby matches with Fenerbahce I got sent off [once against Galatasaray and once against Istanbul Basaksehir]. But I don't want to repeat that because it is not good to leave the team with 10 players in such a really important game."
However, it would be wrong to interpret the comment as any kind of willingness to curb his combative style of play or take a backwards step. While his card has been marked by his friend and countryman Pedro Mendes, Alves doesn't automatically expect that his years of experience of such turbulent matches will make acclimatising to the Old Firm cauldron any easier and says the passion he displays on such occasions is something you can never grow out of.
"How can I explain, these things aren't the kind of things which come with years," he says, "Either you are like this or you are not. Of course when you are more mature you understand a bit more the situation but when these games are so passionate sometimes you take everything that goes on outside inside and sometimes things that you don't want to happen happen. It is difficult to explain.
"These games are the best games for me. You need to fight but you also need to play. Sometimes the game is very rough and you can't play so much. Sometimes it is more like a battle. But I expect both - quality and passion from the Old Firm game.
"Of course myself and Pedro [Mendes] have spoken about the Old Firm game. He told me about his time playing here and the importance of this game for the fans. But I think I am ready. I have the experience of all my years before, all my derbies, important games.
"I want to start this game and feel how it is. I hope I can have good memories from it, and bring it into my life for the future also. I love these kind of games. It is important in football that you are always testing yourself, and proving how good you are.
"Fenerbahce-Galatasaray is a great derby. It is something you need to experience, the stands are really crowded, and everybody is just so focused on the pitch. Everybody gives it everything they can. It is an amazing environment."
It is unclear whether Alves' cult hero status would be diminished or increased should another red card arrive in a fortnight but it certainly wouldn't help the Ibrox side's hopes of a positive result.
"If you give your best the fans will always support you," he said. "If people see that you are working hard and giving your best, even if you are sent off, or there are some mistakes, then they will forgive you."
There were certainly no mistakes from Portugal during this international break, with six points from meetings against the Faroe Islands and Hungary keeping the Euro 2016 champions in touch with Switzerland at the top of Group B with two games to go. Alves played alongside Pepe during the second match in Budapest, and knows maintaining his domestic form is essential to keeping him in the international fold. Portugal could yet meet Scotland in a World Cup play-off.
Moreover, when he returned from international duty, he brought his family with him.
“My family came back with me after the break and now I have everybody here it is easier," he said. “It helps a lot to have my wife and kids in Scotland. You need to be around the people you love. My family always follow me wherever I go. That is important for me.
“If you are always away you miss them and that can be a problem. Now they are here and my kids started school on Thursday. They all speak good English which helps. They are enjoying Glasgow and enjoying a new experience in Scotland. I like going into the city centre and going out for dinner. The people are very friendly and they have been very welcoming."
Another eye-catching result from international week was little Luxembourg holding the French to a goalless draw in Paris.
"I didn’t watch the France game," said Caixinha, already of course a high profile victim of Luxembourgish football in the Europa League clash with Progres Niederkorn. "I don’t know if it was quite similar to ours, but I watched our match a couple of times. And it tells you these things can happen in football all the time. It is one in a thousand but it will happen."
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