For years, the Mission Hills resort in the Californian desert witnessed various champions on the LPGA Tour hurling themselves into Poppie’s Pond in jubilant celebration.

This triumphant dook at the conclusion of golfing affairs was a cherished tradition until the event that had taken up residency there finally departed to pastures new.

But what about one of the over-50s on the US Champions Tour reprising this plunge into the watery expanse that surrounds the 18th green? Well, it appears the intrepid Colin Montgomerie would be game.

“That would make a hell of a photo wouldn’t it?,” roared Monty with a tremendous guffaw as he imagined himself diving headlong into said pond at the end of next week’s Galleri Classic.

It’s certainly a wonderful notion and one that conjures up some deliciously eye-popping imagery. “I’d love to do it as that would mean I was a winner,” added the indomitable Scot.

At the age of 60, good old Monty has not lost any of his lust for golfing life and his competitive zeal remains undiminished.

As he has said on numerous occasions in recent seasons, the moment he stops thinking he can win again, “then that will be the time to buy the two labradors.” He’s not gone to the dogs yet, though.

“Oh, bloody hell, there’s still plenty in the tank,” added the Ryder Cup talisman as he spluttered and scoffed at the mere hint of a suggestion that his winning days were behind him.  

“I actually feel that being 60 is almost like the new 45 or 50. It seems much younger than we used to view it. You would often see it in your own parents. When they were 60, they were perhaps older than we are now. My dad wasn’t flying the world at 60 and going about in hire cars or hopping from hotel to hotel. In a sense, the tour keeps you young.

“It would be a huge achievement to win in my 60s. And I still think I can. My strength has always been hitting fairways and greens, so I don’t need to think about that. I just need a great week putting and if I can do that, then I have half a chance.

"It doesn’t matter what tour you’re on, or what age you are, if you don’t hole out then you won’t win. And I want that winning feeling back because you never lose the desire for it.”

Another of Montgomerie’s desires was to have a final crack at qualifying for this July’s Open at Royal Troon, the course that was just a neatly dinked wedge from the family home back in the day and where his dad, James, served as club secretary for many a year.

During the 2023 championship, while speaking on an official Open radio broadcast, Montgomerie revealed that he would give the 36-hole pre-qualifier a whirl in a nostalgic bid for a last hurrah on home soil. Alas, it won’t be happening.

“I wish the hell it was, but we have a senior major the week of qualifying and it would be too much to come back and get out to America again,” sighed Montgomerie, who came through a nail-nibbling qualifier at Gailes to earn a tee-time for The Open the last time it was at Troon in 2016.

While Monty marches on with his campaign on the golden oldies circuit, the high heid yins of the regular tours continue to seek a silver lining to a gloomy period of turmoil and tumult.

Negotiations involving the PGA Tour, the DP World Tour and the Saudi Arabian Public Investment Fund behind the breakaway LIV series are on-going. Despite claims that talks are “accelerating”, there are still more questions than answers.

“They say ‘it's progressing really well and you’ll know more in August’,” he said. “What the hell is going on? I think there is a lot of work to do in terms of restoring golf’s reputation.

“It’s that evil word money. When that gets in the way, I don’t think anybody wins. We need to get rid of that and just get back to playing the game of golf. Let’s hope we can get return to a semblance of order which we had.

"In my view, golf wasn’t broken, it didn’t need fixed. But then money got involved and here we are.”

And on that note, Monty was off. Poppie’s Pond awaits.