The Diary adores song lyrics - as does reader David Donaldson, who spotted the following inventive lines, in the style of a famous Andrew Lloyd Webber hit, scribbled on a blackboard outside a boozer.
The greatest gulf separating two communities must surely be that between the natives of Edinburgh and Glasgow.
The Diary remains fresh, frisky and ferociously relevant. For we always provide our readers with thoroughly modern wit, which is also in abundance in the following classics yarns from our archives…
The dirty little secret of Scottish football is that very few fans arrive on a Saturday afternoon because they enjoy watching a ball being kicked around a pitch.
Our tale about duff decor reminds David Maxwell from Kilwinning of the official opening of the Hunterston B power station in the 1970s.
It's the Grand National this afternoon, and if you’re reading this column early enough, we’ve a great tip. We’re pretty sure a horse will win. Probably with a little bloke perched on top.
We're discussing the misfortunes of Scotland’s ginger-haired tribe.
