This article appears as part of the Food Matters newsletter.
On any given Sunday, the pavements of Glasgow’s Southside become a toilsome obstacle course only navigated by sidestepping crowds outside the neighbourhood’s most popular bakeries and brunch cafes.
Come rain or shine these hardy foodie types stand resolute in their mission to secure a sacred weekend flat white and eggs benny, soon to be immortalised on Instagram with a caption that’s been pre-planned to the very last emoji.
As someone whose life, both professional and personal, unashamedly revolves around the world of food and drink I can of course appreciate this level of dedication.
And yet no supersized pancake stack or artisan sourdough in the world could tempt me to queue for more than an hour for a meal.
Sure, give me a text system that tells our party to return when a table is free, or later in the day direct us to a bar where a few cocktails will help the waiting time to melt away.
Otherwise, life is simply too short.
Shorter still is a reserve of patience when standing shoulder to shoulder with others who are becoming increasingly irate on an empty stomach.
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Imagine then my utter disbelief at the start of this week as news of a man who had waited upwards of 18 hours to be the first in line for a new Popeyes drive-thru winged its way to The Herald news desk.
No vodka martini or nibbly bits to pass the time for him, just an overnight trip to a Barrhead Retail Park with the sole promise of a ‘world famous’ fried chicken sandwich as a reward.
Any previous admiration for the queuing types was stretched dangerously thin with this one.
I’ve since come to understand that part of the hype stems from the fact that this is the first Popeyes to open in Scotland and that the brand has a loyal following of Americans who have moved to the UK or frequent visitors to the States.
Allowances could then be made for one woman waiting in line who recalled her first job at a Popeyes aged 16 and talked touchingly of her excitement for experiencing a ‘taste of home’.
But for the hundreds of others who have since caused such a traffic gridlock that Police Scotland was forced to intervene, I ask, ‘Why wait?’.
Some of the best meals I’ve ever had have been a direct result of dinner plans that have been scuppered by not booking in advance.
Those occasions where disappointment turns to joy as you stumble across your new favourite restaurant instead of choosing to waste hours hoping for a space make the experience of eating out all the more delicious.
And in a city like Glasgow, where every corner offers a big name chain that I suspect would do just as good a job of satisfying any fast food craving, there’s surely no reason to be wasting your precious time just to boast, ‘I’ve tried it’.
Perhaps when the opening week mania has died down, I’ll make the journey to Barrhead to find out what exactly it is that’s inspired such an incredible sense of devotion from the people of Scotland.
But quite frankly? I'm in no great rush.
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