Finally, I've solved the mystery of the two chefs

Throughout this meal, I’ll be keeping an eye out for the chef chat that I hope is coming only because Niall, a reader, emailed me to say it would. Or it did when he was here.

But it’s a quiet Tuesday night, there are way more staff than customers, in fact staff outnumber the customer (moi) four-to-one, and there’s just isn’t much happening out front.

There’s a nice waitress who doesn’t chat much, but does take the order; there’s a maybe-waiter dude with an iPad; he doesn’t chat much either but he does take some plates away.

There’s a lady chef who comes bolting out the kitchen at one point: but that’s only to tell me they forgot to put the goat in my Goat Double. Uh? I hadn’t noticed.

There’s a lot of music action too which inhibits any nosey customer chat. Trinidad, featuring Naya George, blasting over the speakers right now and more than slightly doing my head in.

Tropical Cafe, Bell Street, Merchant City, Glasgow (Image: Colin Mearns) They’ve got a spinning glitter ball, some parrot-in-the-jungle wallpaper, an actual parrot on the bar (not alive, sadly) and some, eek, disco equipment next my table.

Dear Lord, don’t bloody spin that up, I silently mutter as the iPad man heads towards it. Honestly. I don’t think they’re quite sure yet whether they’re a Caribbean cocktail bar or a Caribbean cafe, is what’s going through my head. As I sit and wait.

But then again? I can see two chefs in the kitchen. Two? On a Tuesday. Strange.

OK, I was here once before - in these premises - after Covid. Back then it was probably the-world’s-worst-German-donner joint. I ate. I left. I vowed never to return. It was so bad I didn’t even write about it.

More recently, after that shut, it was apparently something else, I now forget what. The Caribbean gig has only sprung into life in the last few weeks, I think.

Tenuous then? Could be something else next month? But, mmmh, there are two chefs. On a dead Tuesday night?

I would like to chat about this, but then there’s still that loud music, the no-chat-vibe and I suspect by now the staff are wondering if the fat man with the shirt and tie in the corner has been sent by the council. And are keeping well back.

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It’s down to the food then. Let’s get to it. The first thing I eat is a Double. No idea what a Double is? Think a puffy pizza shaped disk of hot fresh, bubbly dough, a mound of chickpeas, some sweet tamarind flavours, a real delicious belt of cumin, finely sliced, are they pickled, peppers and…a late addition… some hunks of lean, tender goat meat.

This I like. This I would come back for.

But my head has already been turned by two grilled Soca (Caribbean flavours) chicken thighs with a light green salad and herbed fries.

Now, I realise what the guys in the kitchen were doing at the barbecue/grill through there. Turning those thighs, marinading them with maybe tamarind, chilli paste, brown sugar, vinegar, cinnamon, nutmeg too? Who knows? Whatever. The result is intensely flavoured chicken, cut into strips, caramelised, charred yet still moist and very tender, exceptionally flavoured and served with simple but clean and crisp fries. Ooft.

After all this I still have a Caribbean Curry to tackle. A chicken roti, in fact. Not as you would expect, a dish of meat-infused gravy, but a large, bowl-shaped wrap really, cutting open to reveal steaming chicken and potatoes, all lightly curried, and all pretty moreish.

Get Ron's review two whole days before it appears anywhere else.

By the time the chef comes over, because he does come over, with these immortal words: “you ate a lot of food there, man”. I’m eating coconut ice-cream.

“You like that,” he asks. Yeah, I reply. “I made it fresh,” he says.

And so I get the chat. Everything, and he means everything, is made fresh daily. The rotis actually made fresh to order.

“I’d rather people said I was slow but good, than fast but crap,” he’ll add.

Actually. He’s not slow. Just thorough. And very good.

The Tropical Cafe is a lot of fun (Image: Colin Mearns)Menu: Doubles, Soca Grilled Chicken, Caribbean Fish n’ Chips, Spanish Rice, rotisserie and coconut ice creams. Different. 4/5

Service: Bit of a semi-disco vibe late in the evening, quieter and cooler earlier on. Staff pleasant. Chef proud. 4/5

Atmosphere: It is a cafe, with twinkly lights, toucans and undergrowth scenes on walls: Fun. Caribbean music too. 4/5

Price: I had chicken roti at £9.65, goat Doubles £7.95 and two boneless Soca things with spicy chips at under a tenner. Reasonable. 4/5

Food: Ask the man about his Doubles and he’ll tell you why they’re so good. The simple chicken barbecued thighs and chips were the high note for me. 8/10

24/30

Tropical Cafe
51 Bell Street
Glasgow
0141-286-6653
Open: seven days 12pm-12am