It’s been a good week for ... the Chuckle Brothers

I have good news to pass on to you. To me. To you. The Chuckle Brothers are getting a new TV series on Channel 5.

The comedy duo haven’t been on the telly since their old series ChuckleVision ended in 2009, but their cultural significance cannot be denied. Anthropologists have observed that, when shifting furniture or carrying a bookcase from Ikea, British people are unable to get through it without one of them saying “to you” and the other saying “to me”.

And the brothers’ comeback could not have come at a better time. The ITV series Last Laugh in Vegas has just been celebrating Anita Harris, Cannon and Ball and other acts that have somewhat faded from view - might I suggest a few more that deserve some resuscitation?

How about Bucks Fizz, or Dollar, or Basil Brush, who I interviewed a few years ago. I asked the fox what his idea of living hell was and he said it was turning into Sooty. I also asked him what he couldn’t live without and there were a few things: oxygen, jelly babies, a unicycle, Eau de Reynard aftershave and a copy of The Herald.

It’s been a bad week for ... kissing

I know because I checked with my optician, therapist and priest: it is not possible to un-see the image of Donald Trump, lips puckered, moving towards Emmanuel Macron for a kiss. Of course, Trump was only obeying protocol with the French president, but only he could make something as cool as two men kissing look so inappropriate and uncomfortable.

If there is some good to come of it, as well as the image of Prince William and Meghan Markle kissing at the Anzac Day ceremony this week, it could be some easy-to-follow rules for kissing in confusing times.

The confusion arises because there was a time in Britain when kissing was restricted to people you knew, but in the last 10 years or so, it has changed. Suddenly, kissy-kissy mwah-mwah is something you’re sometimes expected to do with people you’ve just met. To strangers.

So might I suggest a retrenchment? A clearer set of rules? Kissing in Britain should be restricted to the following: your best friends, your great aunt at Christmas, your dog, and – sometimes, just sometimes – people you’ve just met on a Friday night.