OUR attempt to find the oldest pub in Scotland brings forth the claim from Jim Cook in Airdrie that the town's Wayside Tavern in Chapel Street is so old it is even mentioned in The Bible. Yes, Mathew 13:4, "And some fell by The Wayside."

Taking the biscuit

SOME great weather last week. Says Robert Gardner: "I visited the lovely fishing village, Tarbet, where I popped into the local grocery shop, bought a packet of two empire biscuits, and sat on a bench at the harbour in the sun. I was joined by what I took to be a gentleman of the road. As I demolished a biscuit I was aware that every bite was being watched. Without saying anything I pushed the other biscuit over to him. He nodded. We both finished at the same time. He nodded again and left. As I packed up one of the locals walked by and said, 'You're the third today'."


I WAS shocked when I read in the Evening Times that the factors of a Bishopbriggs housing estate wanted to ban children from playing hopscotch as the chalk disfigured the pavement – I mean, when did it become hopscotch and not the perfectly acceptable Scottish word peever? We are reminded of a classic Bud Neill cartoon of a typical Neillian lady with her small son over her knee raising clouds of dust from his backside as she declares: "'I'll teach you tae play peever wi' yer maw's tap set.''

Bet on it

SOME Celtic fans are becoming agitated at the bookies' odds shortening on former Everton and failed Manchester United boss David Moyes becoming the next Celtic boss. Many are unhappy with the suggestion. One fan on social media, though, has thought this through and declared: "Think chief executive Peter Lawwell might be playing a blinder inviting Moyes to our games and leaking to the mainstream media that he could be our next manager. When he then announces we are continuing with Neil Lennon in the role there will be a collective 'Thank goodness' from the Celtic fans."

Organ recital

A PIECE of whimsy from a reader who emails: "Sibling relationships are strange, like I’d give my sister a kidney, but I wouldn't let her wear my clothes."

Moses commands

STORIES of folk with famous names. A reader tells us that there was a Church of Scotland minister in Lanarkshire named Moses Donaldson – he was actually a miner but joined the ministry after attending a Billy Graham rally in Glasgow – who helped organise tours for Christians to the Holy Land. He took great joy in sending texts to his family from the top of Mount Sinai.

In the swim

OUR stories about Australia in Saturday's Diary reminds reader Russell Smith of an example of the country's peculiar sense of humour. When the then Prime Minister Harold Holt went missing, presumed drowned, while swimming off the coast of Victoria in the sixties, officials renamed a renovated swimming pool in Melbourne the Harold Holt Memorial Swimming Centre.


WE liked the observation of quiz champion and stand-up Paul Sinha who declared: "My superpower is that no matter which beer I order it's the one that 'needs changing'."

Read more: Strewth, mate, we are going Down Under