Mixed messages

GLANCING at the message on his Sporting News app, a reader from Stirling was disappointed by what he learned: Scotland 11-15 Samoa. “Oh dear,” sighed the long-suffering fan. “Another defeat for Scottish rugby.” At this point our man’s wife took it upon herself to study the message, quickly becoming aware of vital new information of a relevant nature. “That’s the kick-off time,” she said.

Holistic Herald

INSPIRED by the recent TV documentary about The Herald, reader Carole Craig began mulling over the reasons she prefers the hard copy to the digital version of our newspaper. An unexpected trip to the local Minor Injury Unit meant Carole only had time to grab her phone and Herald before leaving the house. “The waiting time was so long my phone was running out of charge. But I had The Herald to see me through,” she recalls. The next day, after walking the dog in the rain, Carole stuffed an old copy of The Herald in her shoes to help them dry, thinking to herself: “You can’t do that with digital news.” Actually, you can. Although the shards of broken iPad are a bit nippy on your heels and toes.


STEVE Martin is a comedy titan, and the Diary is delighted to hear he’s performing at Glasgow’s Hydro next year, alongside celebrity buddy Martin Short. We’re thrilled Steve’s coming for a number of reasons. 1) He’s a domesticated version of Billy Connolly. Steve’s hair is shorter and he has a smoother chin. But he made it big in the 70s, like Billy. Both men are also slick banjo players. 2) He’s a wild and crazy guy. At least that’s what it says at the top of his CV. 3) His visit gives us a flimsy excuse to repeat our favourite Steve Martin gag, which is: “First the doctor told me the good news. I was going to have a disease named after me.”

Eggcellent education

A SCHOOLBOY of our acquaintance was telling his grandma about all the amazing things he was learning in his home economics class. “We study contemporary food issues, food for health and food product developments,” he explained proudly. “Isn’t that marvellous!” sighed gran with an amazed shake of her head. “In my day, we just boiled an egg.”

Ayr apparent

ANOTHER celebrity with a gossamer-thin link to Scotland. Donald McLarty reminds us that one of the all-time great racing drivers was a Celt. Who can forget the motoring majesty that was Ayr Toon Centa? (Okay, we know a few Brazilians claim him as their own, and spell his name Ayrton Senna. But when have Brazilians ever known anything about sport?)

Funny habits?

A BISHOPBRIGS reader gets in touch to enquire: “If a nun and a clown bumped into each other and toppled over, would that be virgin on the ridiculous?”

Read more: The Who in Glasgow, 1981