Falling is galling

THE Diary would never dare hint that Hollywood star and Glasgow Uni graduate Gerard Butler tends to make the same film over and over (and over) again.

Though we do sense a pattern forming in his career. In 2013 he made action flick Olympus Has Fallen. Later came London Has Fallen. Then Angel Has Fallen.

Gerard, who celebrates his birthday today, is now working on something called Night Has… drum roll and dramatic pause as we tease our readers before revealing the final word to be… Fallen.

Molly Daniels from Cumbernauld once adored Butler’s work, though even she’s a tad fed up.

“Toast Has Fallen will be next,” she predicts. “With Gerard heroically preventing his morning slice from hitting the kitchen floor butter-side down.”

School shorts

A DIARY tale about diminutive people reminds a reader of a certain chap who was once the janitor in a North Ayrshire primary school. As the fellow wasn’t much taller than five foot in height, it’s perhaps unsurprising that the school community came to know him as Janny DeVito.

Talking balls

WAITING for a Muirend bus, Beryl Lodge overheard a debate between workmen digging up the nearby road.

Discussing U.S. politics, they struggled to agree on who was the finest President of recent times. Their criteria for competence wasn’t the economy, defence or even foreign policy.

“That Obama was never aff the golf course,” one pointed out, dismissively.

“Wit aboot Trump?” scoffed another. “Forget the White Hoos. It was all aboot wackin’ wee white balls wi’ that yin.”

Rueful reflection

“MY dog broke my mirror,” sighs Bob Miller from Airdrie. “Guess that’s 49 years bad luck.”

Aping amour

WHILE studying at Glasgow University David Donaldson met a Venezuelan chap who claimed that in his country a standard compliment to a young woman is: “You have eyes like a gorilla’s armpits.”

“Maybe it sounds better in Spanish,” concedes David, who is still waiting for the chance to try out the amorous line.

Teaching travails

A MODERN STUDIES teacher gets in touch to explain how her job has evolved. For years she stood in front of classes explaining the minutia of the British political system. No longer.

Nowadays lessons start, progress and end in the following fashion.

“Put your masks on… I said put them on… no, keep them on… on, I said…”

It’s modern, all right. But is it really studies?

Dictionary corner

THOUGHT for the day from reader Robert Chadwick. “Do you realise the word ‘incorrectly’ is spelled ‘incorrectly’ in every English dictionary?” he points out.