Fearful year full

IT’S been a rollercoaster of a year. And by "rollercoaster" we mean the sort of rusted hulk of a fairground ride that has a barbed wire fence surrounding it to prevent curious youngsters from clambering on the rickety framework before the council tears it down, a few days from now, as a serious danger to life and limb.

But as these tales from our archives prove, the world had its share of dramatic and painfully disposable moments even before the year 2020, which is (thankfully) now drawing to a close.

For instance, we recall the Stonehaven chap whose love life was a stressful and tangled affair. As one local put it: “He was involved in a “fromage a trois”.

Glen of gloom

A YOUNG reader taking the bus from Edinburgh to St Andrews watched as a fellow passenger approached the driver when it stopped at Glenrothes bus station and asked if they had reached St Andrews.

The driver affirmed it was in fact Glenrothes, then added in explanation: “If St Andrews looked like this, no-one would visit it.”

Boxing badinage

A READER who was moving house couldn’t get over the number of boxes of books he had to pack for the removal men – particularly as he was being charged per box.

His mood wasn’t helped by the foreman of the removal men who looked at the boxes and remarked: “Aye, I bet you wish the Kindle was invented a good few years earlier.”

Airhead in airport

TRAVELLING back from Dublin, a reader was at the airport when a bit of a stushie broke out in the security queue in front of him.

Eventually he heard the security chap tell a confused woman: “No, you don’t put your baby on the tray. You can take him straight through with you.”

Tea for two

MANY people are now working at home, for better or worse. Glasgow comedian Susan Calman has been doing her writing in the house for ages. She once observed: “I told my cat to beat it, and stop putting his tail in my cup of tea. I miss working in an office. No-one ever put their a*** in my tea there."

Legal laugh

A MILNGAVIE reader once visited a lawyer. While there he said it was perhaps time he had a will drawn up. “Yes, leave it all to me,” said the lawyer, who added: “Sorry, I tell that joke to everyone who comes in wanting a will.”

Taking bull

WE end with a daft gag a reader once told us. “Thieves robbed my local shop of twenty cases of Red Bull,” he said. “I don’t know how these people sleep at night.”

Read more: Issue of the day: It's a Wonderful Life