In all the years I've been writing about wine, I've never been asked what to pair with a spider until last week, but the question came up and the curious (or weird) side of my brain perked up and got me into Attenborough mode. Well, sort of Attenborough because he rarely deep fries the subjects of his videos.

Insects are of course eaten by people all over the world, except the West where we still tend to be repelled by the wee critters but apparently deep fried insects will be bar snacks sooner than we think as the world's population grows.

Anyway, as it turns out, Laithwaites wines wrote the bible on wine and insect pairing a few years ago so I don't need to crank up the barbie just yet.

Giant Water Bugs apparently taste like scallops but the head has hints of spice, so they suggest a fino sherry as the only partner for that one. Asian Forest Scorpions are normally served with a sweet chilli sauce, so Laithwaites found a rich Pinot Noir to be the perfect partner, but if neither of these are to your liking, how about a nice deep fried tarantula? Its been suggested that they could be the new cod in our fish and chip takeaways and a nice buttery chardonnay is the best recommendation!

Alternately, we could all get just a trifle less squeamish and eat some more shellfish to save our embattled fishermen since the nasty old Europeans wont take their produce any more! Why not treat mum to some fresh shellfish and a crisp white instead of chocolate this year?

Cleanskin Limestone Coast Chardonnay, Australia

Grapefruits and pears on the nose with a gorgeously fresh citrus dominated palate. The finish is dry, crisp and minerally which makes this an absolute star with steamed British Mussels. Add a little garlic and some chunks of cooked ham to the pan for a cracking effect.

Laithwaites Wines £13.99

Classic Workhorse Chenin, South Africa

A bit like that wood stain that does what it says on the tin. A classic, dry, flinty Chenin blanc that pairs superbly with a range of shellfish but literally illuminates a crab salad.

Marks & Spencer £8.00