Restaurant bust-up

A DIARY tale about an awkward encounter reminds Edinburgh reader Keith Sanger of a friend who used to be a medical sales representative promoting a variety of surgical implements, including breast implants.

Upon being seated in a restaurant with a group of chums, this chap thought he recognised a lady at another table. A look of recognition also flashed across her face.

Just as he realised she was one of the operating theatre sisters he dealt with, she clicked at the same time, and announced in a loud voice: “You’re the man who handles breasts.”

Electric interview

OUR recent discussion about how certain words have different meanings across the Atlantic reminds Doug Maughan of an article he once read, which was written by an American journalist about the late Lord Weinstock, the formidable boss of General Electric.

The piece began: “Lord Weinstock cut an impressive figure, seated behind his desk in his suspenders.”

To which Doug could only conclude: “I’ll bet he did.”

Mammoth moaner

ANOTHER nifty nickname. Bert Peattie from Kirkcaldy worked with a chap called Milne who turned the most simplistic job into a mammoth task.

“We called him Cecil B on the grounds that he could make an epic out of anything,” says Bert.

Numbers up

IN the late 1960s and early 70s Tom Bain from Uddingston was working in Queen Street. The surrounding area was the centre of the burgeoning rag trade, and some young entrepreneurs were obviously making lots of money as there were a number of flash cars around.

One had the number plate 1UPU, which was trumped a few weeks later by another motor with the registration UPU 2.

Opposing ideas

CULTURED correspondent Colin Hodges continues to suggest displays he would like to see in his Oxymoron Museum. “I’d have private exhibitions and permanent loans,” he says.

Thumbs up

AUTHOR Deedee Cuddihy overheard an exchange in Glasgow’s West End between two middle-aged ladies, which she is now thinking of including in an updated edition of her humorous book The Wee Guide to Scottish Women.

First Woman: "He can deny it all he wants, but he's under the thumb… Under. The. Thumb."

Second Woman: "Aye. But she's a strong woman, and there's nothin' wrong wi' that."

Glasgow. A land where men are malleable, women are warriors, and the mighty thumb governs all.

Gnu to zoo

THOUGHT for the day from reader John Cochrane. “If a gnu was introduced to a Scottish zoo would it be named Hawkeye (the gnu)?”

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